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OP here- A couple of points of clarification: 1) She wasn't paying the bills- I was looking for a cheaper apartment. We'd have gone down from a 3-bedroom to a studio. Where I live, I would have been paying a pretty standard rate for what a studio is- it was just convenient to be renting from family, with whom I generally get along. 2) He's my fiancee now. We'd have been married by the time we moved in. 3) She has definitely had some interesting idea manifest over the last couple of years, as she has begun reading the Gospel according to Saint Google. It seems these days she will take any chain e-mail she gets with about the same degree of seriousness as the actual Bible. For most of my life, we have had very normal and respectful boundaries about our differences in belief. I knew she had some odd ideas, but the idea that she would demand to have control over every book, movie, piece of clothing, game, etc. that we had in an apartment we were paying to rent was much further out than I thought she was. 4) When I say she thinks they are demonic, I don't mean she doesn't want me watching Hellboy or other movies that are about demons. What she specifically said is that the physical objects (outlined as movies and books that depicted violence, sex, horror, fantasy, aliens, superheroes, any object that had any cultural reference that could be traced to a non-Christian religion or superstition, satanic heavy metal and video games, etc.) were actually all carrying demonic spirits in a real and physical sense, which would be brought into the apartment with them, and she needed to protect herself by not letting us bring the demons in (the apartment, while having a separate entrance, is attached to her house). So, needless to say, we thanked her very much and cancelled our plans to move into that apartment pretty much immediately. The FML is mostly that she's so far gone from when I was younger, and that she sprung this on us after we told everyone we were taking the apartment, rather than up front when we discussed rent, parking, furniture and pretty much every other detail.

OP here. There are two reasons anyone at work knows I'm pregnant at this stage in the game. Background: I stopped taking birth control 2 years ago and have had six periods in that time. I work in a doctor's office-I'm a nurse. My coworkers that work directly with me often convince me to take pregnancy tests because my cycle is so irregular. I was experiencing what I thought were PMs symptoms-breast tenderness (to the point that it was painful to take my bra off at night), much more fatigue than usual, hormonal headaches, and some nausea when trying to eat in the morning but especially at night. I wasn't too concerned because the headaches had me convinced it was my period. My coworkers thought otherwise and told me after about two weeks of these symptoms that I was taking a pregnancy test on a Monday if I didn't start my period over the weekend. Well, I didn't get my period, obviously. I came in to work and that was the first thing the girls asked. I said no and was handed a urine sample cup. At that point, I was still convinced there was no way it was positive, so I did my sample, came back and gave it to the girl who was 100% sure I was pregnant, telling her "I don't even need to watch, I know it's negative!" Well, lo and behold, my pink positive line came up before the control line even showed up and my coworker rushed to my desk and said "congratulations!!!" I took 4 more tests that day and swore my coworkers to secrecy until I could tell my boyfriend-who was shocked because we had unprotected sex literally once and bam. I told one of my other coworkers the next day-she's also a nurse and was one of my preceptors when I was a student. I wanted to know what I should tell our boss. I am currently covering someone's maternity leave at work, which ends in December, and then I theoretically go back to being casual. She told me I had to tell our boss immediately-apparently you have to work a certain number of hours to have maternity leave regardless of whether or not your position is permanent so she said "tell her and get your leave!" I told my boss, who was completely thrilled and told me that whatever I decided, there was a job for me in some capacity at our clinic so it went well. As for telling everyone when it's so early, I spoke with one of the docs I work with regarding prenatal testing because I don't have a doc. I put my name in his schedule so he could bill for it and stupidly thought that nobody would look in my chart. As for my coworker, she's less than 5 feet tall and probably has a good 30 lbs on me. I'm not a stick, but I'm not "plus-sized" either. Before finding out I was pregnant, I had lost 20 lbs in order to help facilitate my boyfriend and I having kids... Down the road. If you stayed with this novel of a follow-up, thanks for reading!

Thanks to everyone who shared their personal experiences, offered their support or sympathy, or made me laugh.

So I wouldn't talk and the audience wouldn't hear me. And I didn't make any awkward sounds in the restroom either. All of a sudden the audience just heard a huge "FLUSH!!!!"Which is why the sound guys didnt have time to turn off the mic. And they apologized to me afterwards, but it was embarrassing. Now it's funny.

In reference to everyone who wants to know how he teaches: He uses power points and is able to type, change slides, and use a laser pointer with his foot (I think only one leg is actually real). He teaches psychology and is an amazing teacher.

I'm the guy that submitted this FML. I didn't think this topic would gain so much traction but I don't feel so alone and I do appreciate reading your comments good or bad. Yes, my parents are "racist assholes". Both of them immigrated into the U.S. in their teens. Currently in their 60's/70s respectively, I cannot fathom why they continue to harbor such hate but here is the kicker. I'm not pure Chinese. I'm part Chinese and Japanese. The Japanese is from my mother's side. My father rants about how much he hates the Japanese. Further, my grandfather was a medic for the Army in WW2 so that adds more fuel to the fire. So how in the hell did he get around to marrying my mother? Of course my father has no answer for that. The racism is only scratching the surface. It's the Asian tiger parents sort of mentality of romanticizing and demanding perfection from their offspring. Check out Amy Chua's book if you don't believe me. All I can do is press on in life and not repeat the same mistakes my parents made because I don't want my own son labeling me "asshole".

I'm happy to inform you #23 that the popsicles survived the accident, and many of them are already in my belly! ;-)