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This is the OP here, my parents are incredibly worried about me taking the medicine because two of my three brothers are recovering drug addicts. I was visiting a friend who called my brother to come pick me up because I kept falling asleep mid-conversation as a side-effect to the medication. My parents assumed I was abusing them because of their past experiences with my brothers. They're incredibly understanding about the pain, but they're just scared.

By upsetandannoyed - 01/01/2012 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend set me up with a cute guy who is very germaphobic. So, I spent four hours cleaning my apartment. Two minutes into the date, I sneezed. He politely told me he wasn't feeling well and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 016

You deserved it 3 697

By bleu_noir - 14/02/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 633

You deserved it 4 479

By Dante178 - 08/12/2011 20:41 - United States

Today, I went to court to file a small claim and found myself at the end of a huge line. The moment I got to the front of the line, the fire alarm went off and we all had to leave the building. The moment I got outside, the alarm stopped and everybody rushed back in. I'm at the back of the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 773

You deserved it 3 798

By itsemilyc - 02/02/2015 19:34 - United States - Byron Center

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 897

You deserved it 4 314

Lingering smells

By UptoHERE - 04/02/2010 03:18 - Canada

Today, I was on a road-trip with some of my buddies, when we stopped at a gas station. When I opened the door to their bathroom, brown water flowed out, soaking my legs up to my knees. I then spent another 2 hours in an enclosed vehicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 512

You deserved it 2 295

By embarrassed2 - 24/01/2011 02:47 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tickled me. In between laughs, I warned him that I was going to pee myself. He didn't believe me. After I actually did, he suggested we use a "safety word" from now on so that he will know when I'm being serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 995

You deserved it 4 810

By xattackattackx - 18/11/2011 09:01 - United States

Today, the main topic for my sister and her friends in the car was how many ways they could think of to kill me. They came up with 137. I have to spend a week with these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 921

You deserved it 2 759

By Anonymous - 09/12/2014 18:29

Today, I told my boss I have a sore throat. He replied, "Well, don't take it so deep next time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 840

You deserved it 6 117

The Destroyer

By mr_p - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was waiting to take a dump in a gas station restroom. A 300-pound man walked out, shook his head, and said, "I'm sorry" to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 552

You deserved it 3 689

By ChampionshipVinyl - 18/04/2012 06:57 - Canada - Orangeville

Today, I came home from work to find my kids playing Frisbee with my collection of rare, valuable vinyl records. The term "smash hit record" took on a whole new meaning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 528

You deserved it 2 909

Why would you go and do a thing like that?

By anonymous - 25/05/2011 14:33 - Singapore

Today, I inexplicably claimed ownership of someone else's fart in the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 345

You deserved it 37 017

By PokeWife - 06/02/2013 13:38 - United States - Omaha

Today, my husband started a conversation with, "In Pokémon…" and ended the same conversation with "…and that's why we should divorce." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 325

You deserved it 4 530

By DisturbedMan - 15/01/2014 22:29 - United Kingdom - Maidstone

Today, as if having to endure the noises of my parents having sex in the next room wasn't painful enough, my mom decided to shout, "Yeah! Like a horse!" I want to cry. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 199

You deserved it 5 964

By UNmarried - 31/08/2009 18:10 - United States

Today, I found some .pdf files on my wife's computer. They were forms that had been filled out except for the date and the "reason" section. They were divorce papers. When confronted about it she said, "Well, if you piss me off really bad, I want to write down why before I calm down." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 864

You deserved it 4 179

By tpj24 - 08/01/2014 00:00 - United States - Ankeny

Today, I had to explain to one of my high school students that the importance of Pearl Harbor was not, in fact, because the Japanese stole the US pearl supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 427

You deserved it 3 971

tpj24 tells us more.

tpj24 2

Saturday 11 January 2014 3:35

Rest assured that I set the student straight.

By humiliated - 26/02/2010 10:21 - United States

Today, I was finally hooking up with a girl I was after for a long time. Things got really hot and heavy but she stopped and looked at me weird. She said, "I can't do it, you're really wet. It looks like chicken fat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 933

You deserved it 4 051

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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Today, after 30 minutes of pre-heating the oven to make a special meatloaf for my husband's birthday, I remembered that I had hidden the cake in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 672

You deserved it 32 093

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 316

You deserved it 3 709

Today, I woke up to go to school. I was unbelievably tired, but I gathered the courage to go take my shower. I then took a long shower, cleaned up my room, got dressed, and ate breakfast. Going back to my room, I looked at the clock, which read 3:22 AM. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 471

You deserved it 38 001

Today, I can add "Ferrari" to the long list of cars I’ve almost been hit by. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 423

You deserved it 240

Today, I sobbed hard to the point of hyperventilating and throwing up. Why? I instinctually stomped on a roach but didn’t see the egg sack she was carrying. I feel like I murdered a mom and her babies. I feel awful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 967

Today, I learned my husband thinks that our 10-year relationship has been a "step above mediocre" since 8 years ago, when we got married, and his family melted down that our wedding didn't happen their way, and thus began their undermining of our relationship. He believes it's "no one's fault." Uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 850

You deserved it 134