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By Anonymous - 13/03/2012 16:08 - United States

Today, I had a mild epileptic seizure. My mom's immediate reaction was not to comfort me or call for help, but to freak out over the fact that I'd spilled my glass of milk over the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 959

You deserved it 2 052

By mel - 18/01/2013 23:18 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I went to a family dinner. My grandma wasted no time calling me a slut for not wearing a dress, my dad called my police officer boyfriend a "fucking pig", and then he told my mother to "put a cock in it" when she defended me. No wonder I hardly ever visit these people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 080

You deserved it 3 146

By veiny - 21/04/2015 13:48 - United States - Kingsport

Today, my nurse girlfriend told me she's more attracted to the veins in my arm than any other part of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 643

You deserved it 3 783

By donkeyd - 05/02/2010 16:29 - United States

Today, I woke up and had a voicemail from my boyfriend. I just thought nothing of it because it was a pocket dial. I decided to listen to it carefully and realized it was him having sex with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 931

You deserved it 2 493

False accusation

By Missa - 04/07/2009 03:04 - Canada

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7-year-olds cry and it wasn't them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 435

You deserved it 56 557

By vrossie_ - 08/09/2013 05:56 - United States

Today, my mom was sharing the story of how I was born with the umbilical cord around my neck. My sister added that it was God's first attempt to kill me off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 759

You deserved it 4 211

vrossie_ tells us more.

vrossie_ 15

Monday 9 September 2013 21:43

Yea it was clever. I shared it to my Biology class and they all laughed.

By Anonymous - 27/10/2011 19:54 - Denmark

Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 400

You deserved it 28 076

By Anonymous - 11/09/2012 19:16 - Sweden - Guayanilla

Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 348

You deserved it 4 392

By MsConfusedd - 09/08/2012 14:51 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, I discovered that the only thing more disgusting than watching a little kid shove their finger up their nose and eat their fresh green mucus is watching your grandmother do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 803

You deserved it 1 955

By Anonymous - 18/11/2015 11:40 - Austria - Vienna

Today, my boyfriend canceled our date last-minute. He claimed he had no time because he had to iron his towels. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 852

You deserved it 2 290

By Anonymous - 28/06/2013 19:41 - United States - Chicago Ridge

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 874

You deserved it 7 471

By bunkbed - 30/08/2011 16:45 - Canada

Today, I bought my daughter a bunk bed. After spending several hours building it, she climbed up, then fainted. Turns out she's afraid of heights. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 3 881

By allinicolesmh - 08/08/2011 16:03 - United States

Today, my dad said he can't go to my graduation because he has to work. He got fired a month ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 279

You deserved it 2 700

No kink-shaming on FML

By thedoc - 15/07/2014 03:25 - United States - Amarillo

Today, my wife was putting her finger in my bellybutton and making overly sexual noises. I thought this was all fun and games until I realized she was actually into this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 588

You deserved it 6 968

By morethanredhands - 21/05/2012 05:56

Today, while in the bathroom, I started absent-mindedly drumming on my thighs. I didn't stop to think that people outside would think I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 765

You deserved it 7 832

By BadBreath - 09/04/2009 03:43 - United States

Today, I was having a horrible day. I was laying on the couch, crying, when my dog came up on the couch to console me. I was thinking about how great it was to have a dog, because they're there for you when no one else is. As I was sobbing, I heard something. My dog farted into my mouth. Twice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 701

You deserved it 9 398

By Anonymous - 07/08/2009 00:45 - United States

Today, I went to visit teachers at the high school I graduated from 3 months ago as valedictorian. Turns out, I had an expired parking permit, and I didn't properly get a visitor pass. The school went into a "yellow lockdown" because of me. My car was towed. I got arrested for trespassing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 489

You deserved it 9 043

By mn_shr - 26/10/2013 01:25 - Qatar - Doha

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 146

You deserved it 2 993

mn_shr tells us more.

mn_shr 22

Saturday 26 October 2013 20:51

Hello everyone, OP here. I feel like I need to clear something up, and that's living in the Middle East does not mean I am from the Middle East. I repeat, not from Qatar. Also, Muslim or otherwise, Arab girls have the complete freedom to refuse marriage as they see fit. Not that there aren't exceptions to that, but for the most part girls are far more autonomous nowadays. To whoever looked up stuff on the internet, I'd like to say for a fact that it is 100% untrue. To clear up my situation, I'd like to point out I'm a very ritualistic person and my birthday means a lot to me. Seeing as my mother and I have never gotten along, and frankly don't like each other very much, her way to sabotage my birthday was to bribe this Sir Asshole McLoser to marry me. I've made my disinterest very clear so for those rooting that I give it a shot, please don't. I'm turning 23 and I think I'm going to wait a few years before considering resorting to arranged courtships and the like. Thanks for whoever wished me a happy birthday! P.S. Mr. Bastard, I've always had a thing for your sense of humor, I'm sure we could make something work.

By Anonymous - 23/01/2010 16:14 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I refused to share a toothbrush with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 876

You deserved it 6 296