You've been Boeberted

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 22:00

Today, I had to retrieve my son from the police station because him and his girlfriend decided a blowjob in the back row of the cinema was a good idea when they have night vision cameras in there and security guards and a very high definition picture printer for evidence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 178

You deserved it 60

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Same thing different taste

Dumbasses

By stay in there - 17/04/2020 23:00

Today, I got a call from the local police station. Apparently, my idiot son and his equally dumb girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to have sex in the car at a park in broad daylight. They assumed no one would be there due to the quarantine. They were wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 304

You deserved it 321

Caught in 4K

By RBergman - 25/04/2015 20:05 - United States - Basin

Today, I had to arrest my own boyfriend for having sex in public. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 901

You deserved it 3 372

By loveade11 - 12/01/2010 19:28 - France

Today, a police officer caught my girlfriend and me having sex. The officer was my dad, and we were butt naked in his new Ford Expedition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 732

You deserved it 35 678

By Username - 20/06/2011 15:57 - United States

Today, I had to pick my parents up from jail. They thought it would be okay to have sex behind a bush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 714

You deserved it 4 268

By couch_potato - 28/03/2013 07:53

Today, I finished installing remote access CCTV cameras around my house due to the high rate of burglaries around my neighborhood. I turn it on to see my teenage son rubbing one out on the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 917

You deserved it 24 813

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 30/11/2020 20:04

Today, my girlfriend and I got busted by the cops having sex in a dark parking lot near the beach. As if that wasn't bad enough, as I was trying to talk my way out of a ticket, one of the cops peeks into the car window and I hear my girlfriend awkwardly giggle and say, "Hi daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 864

You deserved it 754

Assumptions

By enderw - 16/06/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So you are the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and I a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 168

You deserved it 6 415

By Anonymous - 08/06/2019 00:24 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I was babysitting my friend's 12-year-old son while his dad was having an emergency procedure at the hospital. I walked into the den to see if he wanted to go out to dinner, only to find him watching Pornhub on my iPad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 629

You deserved it 433

This Charming Man

By Anonymous - 01/03/2020 18:00

Today, I met my girlfriend's dad. It didn't go well since unfortunately he’s the guy I had to remove from the club I’m the bouncer at, and had to report to the police for getting drunk, stroking himself over his pants and taking photos in the ladies toilets. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 975

You deserved it 113

Straight to jail

By Miss bad decisions - 03/11/2023 22:00

Today, my boyfriend and I got busted having public sex. In desperation, I promised the officer he could fuck me if he let us go. Now I've got an extra charge and probably an ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 1 117

tiptoppc 19

Tuesday 17 March 2026 23:09

Why do cinemas need security guards and night vision cameras? Where does he go to school, Stalingrad?

SAgirl 16

Wednesday 18 March 2026 12:22

There was that one theater that got shot up during a batman move. Besides that, catching people performing sexual acts in public sounds like a pretty good reason alone to have them.

Comments

tiptoppc 19

Tuesday 17 March 2026 23:09

Why do cinemas need security guards and night vision cameras? Where does he go to school, Stalingrad?

SAgirl 16

Wednesday 18 March 2026 12:22

There was that one theater that got shot up during a batman move. Besides that, catching people performing sexual acts in public sounds like a pretty good reason alone to have them.

tiptoppc 19

Wednesday 18 March 2026 22:55

Sandy Hook even showed if you have police on site they won’t do anything. How in the hell is the security guard going to stop someone from shooting up a theater?