Intimacy: WTF is going on here?

WTF is going on here?

By douglisk1994 - 10/02/2009 00:07 - United States

Today, I drove my girlfriend home around 11pm to her garage where we started to have sex. When she came to climax she slipped and hit her head. Her parents heard the crash and came down; we were both still naked, and she was unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 256

You deserved it 20 275

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Same thing different taste

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 776

You deserved it 20 706

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 185

You deserved it 8 017

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 069

You deserved it 7 519

Date grape

By Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 144

You deserved it 253

By Nemesis2747 - 24/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I took a friend home from the hospital. She was on medication that made her drowsy. She fell onto her bed and asked me to help her take off some clothes since she had her winter gear on. She passes out and her roommate walks in and catches me undressing an unconscious girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 836

You deserved it 3 325

Cramped

By chelse_elyce - 21/01/2015 04:10 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in his car. We were in the front seat and I was on top. My ass hit the horn and scared my boyfriend so bad, he jumped, causing me to hit my head so hard that I swear I got a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 854

You deserved it 13 390

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 136

You deserved it 3 960

You've pulled

By Anonymous - 27/01/2025 19:00 - United Kingdom - Warrington

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to have some fun at around 3:00 am and during our fun I flipped her over quite roughly and, as she landed on the bed, I'd accidentally dislocated her shoulder. For the next 2 hours we didn’t know whether to call an ambulance or her sister, so we had to put it back in place ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 393

Performance

By bob - 29/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 372

You deserved it 31 615

By ohai ur hawt, wanna fuzzzZzZZzzZzz - 04/04/2014 23:20 - Mexico - Mexico

Today, I met a really nice girl at a club, and we went back to my place. I was finally going to lose my virginity, but just as she started kissing me, I panicked and ended up fainting. When I came to, I was still clothed, and she was long gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 553

You deserved it 13 132

troynt 2

Tuesday 10 February 2009 2:46

please! tell us more

gilthanas07 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 3:03

seriously why would you being doing it in her parents garage? thats just asking to get caught...

Comments

zac12345 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 23:39

56 your an idiot, her parents thought she was getting date raped

TehToaster 0

Thursday 22 April 2010 0:26

Epic win comment!

baby_mama2122 0

Friday 9 July 2010 3:44

dumbass

Ninjarawwr 6

Monday 2 August 2010 2:27

can you say.. "awkward.." ? hahah (:

MoNiCa132 0

Tuesday 7 September 2010 19:49

omg this is the funniest shit ever

TehGirreth 0

Tuesday 26 October 2010 18:32

!tnemmoc niw cipE

Shorty27 0

Thursday 27 January 2011 4:25

lmao. i bet her mother wanred to **** u after tht. so she saw ur penis? amd u shouldve cumed rite onur gf's pusdy orboobs

kendallannalea 0

Sunday 6 February 2011 5:05

"It's not what it looks like!" xD

Pippy88 0

Friday 15 April 2011 22:55

Nuh uh!!! U liar!!

gingercurlytop 0

Sunday 1 May 2011 21:35

tell us moooore!!!

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The Top

Today, I was going to the bathroom at work. Since I knew it would take a while, I brought my iPod in for entertainment. To bad it disabled me from hearing the continuous knocks on the door as well as the manager eventually picking the lock and busting in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 597

You deserved it 46 620

Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 824

You deserved it 8 443

Today, my boyfriend, who I haven't seen in months because we live in different countries, is coming to stay with me. I've been the picture of health for months, but today I woke up with my period, a terrible cold, and tooth pain from that root canal my dentist told me I didn't need a few years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 760

You deserved it 312

Today, my week started off with cleaning up a literal dumpster fire. Since then, I’ve been falsely accused of stealing someone’s welcome mat, had my water shut off, and had to miss three days of work in order to correct my child care voucher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 404

You deserved it 78

Today, I dyed my hair. And my forehead. And my ears. And my arms. And my hands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 107

You deserved it 24 892

Today, I was expecting a very important work call. Today was also the day I got insuppressible diarrhea. As I was running to the washroom, the phone rang. I didn't make it to the washroom or the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 226

You deserved it 3 498

Same thing different taste

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