Sex, Smells Intimacy Turn me on

Turn me on

shmelly - 16/04/2010 04:03 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was unbuttoning my pants to go down on me, he looked at me and said in his best robot voice, "Caution, contents may be stinky." FML

46 004

22 249

Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

To each his own

Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

495

256

Superfuzz Big Muff

miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

31 672

9 540

Steamy

Anonymous - 20/05/2019 06:35

Today, while getting steamy with my boyfriend, I tried to be sexy and tease him by playfully pushing his hands away every time he touched me. He responded by telling me it's OK if we didn't have sex because my breath was a bit "funky" and he needed to take "a massive dump anyway." FML

1 117

3 449

Observation

Anonymous - 17/04/2009 05:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. Right as I was really getting into it, he pauses, frowns, and says, "I think I see the pee hole." FML

97 796

8 010

So sensual...

Wellokthen - 17/02/2017 22:00 - United States

Today, things began to get hot and heavy between my boyfriend and me. Suddenly, in a deep, sexy voice, he whispered, "God help me for what I'm about to do." Thinking it was just an odd manner of dirty talk, I mumbled about liking it. He then farted very loudly. FML

9 135

1 179

Crotch rot of the mouth

Anonymous - 25/03/2024 19:00 - United Kingdom

Today, as I hadn’t showered yet, I told my boyfriend not to go down on me in case it smelled "down there." We started kissing instead, but he made a "blech" face, then went down on me anyway. Apparently my morning breath was worse than unwashed crotch. FML

146

539

KaiyaOtaku1 - 14/07/2014 23:48 - United States - Seattle

Today, while eating dinner with my boyfriend, I look up to see him staring at me, smiling. Hoping he wanted to say how lucky of a man he was who loved me deeply, I asked him what he was thinking. He replied, "You can't smell that yet? It was a noxious one." FML

44 883

6 666

fartlover - 27/11/2009 05:10 - Canada

Today, I went over to my boyfriend's apartment and I smelled a delicious aroma as I walked in so I asked him what he was cooking. His response was, "I'm not cooking anything. I just farted." FML

34 322

8 652

Bummed out

Anon - 11/11/2023 04:00

Today, I tried to tease my boyfriend by pulling my skirt up, bending over, and backing up into him. He gagged and said, "Please, wash your ass." FML

149

887

InvAzn - 14/12/2017 06:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate with each other, starting with some foreplay. Before he fingered me, he put on a blue surgical glove, claiming that "down there is dirty and smelly" and he didn't want it on his hand. FML

7 630

2 389

THC_Overdose 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:10

haha this made me laugh

karebear9 0

Friday 16 April 2010 12:12

ewww dude go wash that nastiness... ydi

tehchowder 0

Friday 16 April 2010 15:19

[robot voice] Please sit on my face [robot noises]

ljc17 0

Friday 16 April 2010 15:22

LOL!!! funniest thing I've heard in a while

sparky831 0

Friday 16 April 2010 15:35

hahaha dats badasss!

brookiebaby16 1

Friday 16 April 2010 15:39

ha ha wash ur vj man

partyman007 0

Friday 16 April 2010 15:43

this is not ur fml its his

BountyBass 13

Friday 16 April 2010 15:59

stinky pants!

Pandacharm 0

Saturday 17 April 2010 0:17

mind you he said that before he even went down on her... and note "may be" it was a joke.. an Ill humored one at that. fyl to the op

GuErItA 0

Friday 16 April 2010 16:02

omfg!! that defenetly made me lmfao!

Hecka_cool 2

Friday 16 April 2010 16:07

the stronger the better yum yum. :o)

juzcallmeneo 0

Friday 16 April 2010 16:22

that's nasty, ydi for for not cleaning your nasty vag. how do you expect him to go down and use his mouth when it smells like somthing died? I make sure I'm always clean but I've been with a few girls with a serious case of donkey vag