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those are some seriously garbage friends
people who haven't had it happen to them don't understand and don't know how to react. if you're really young too they probably just don't know how to handle it. I'd say only really talk about it with someone you really trust, in private. also as others have said, support groups are great.
Wth that is seriously rude
Not everyone is able to talk about that kind of thing so sensitively. I am the last person to talk about death with, my way of dealing/coping is through humour. I am sorry they ended up making you feel that way, I hope you told them how it made you feel, it's not easy to open up. Maybe look into seeing a counsellor, or find someone else to talk to. Future note though, your friends may not be ready for that kind of stuff.
that sucks op hopefully your friend apologizes. if it's something they say a lot, it might have slipped out (I accidentally made a Your Mom joke to my dad at a family dinner. needless to say, I don't make those jokes anymore). I know it's hard to understand other's thought processes, especially as someone who's been in your situation. hopefully over time each friend will come to you and apologize and hopefully none of that was intentional.
Why would you tell something like that, to a group of people? Regardless of how close you are to them, that's grounds for a private 1on1 conversation; if you really feel the need to tell someone.
Why? Is it something OP should be ashamed of? Should OP not be able to trust people to act decently in a group? I get that it's not something to randomly bring up like it's party conversation, but expecting a small group of close friends to be good people together, not just one-on-one, is very reasonable.
"Hey everybody, I know we're hanging out and having a good time, but let me bring down the mood and let me tell you about the time that I was molested. Ok, now this wasn't awkward at all and you better react in the exact way that I expect." "Hey, you wanna go catch that new Tyler Perry flick?" Friends get together to have fun and enjoy each others company. Not be introduced to topics that monopolize the conversation and are near impossible to transition into anything else that won't be deemed as inappropriate. I feel for the poster, the situation they experienced is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone...they just need to learn not to bring it up in casual group settings and not expect some sort of reaction they don't like.
You have NO idea the tone of the get together. Friends get together for fun, but also for comfort and support. I'm truly sorry if you've never had close friends like that.
"Pics or it didn't happen". Do you think that's something a group of adults in a book club or some 'somber society' would say? No, this is a teen, maybe early 20s at the latest. In my experience, kid's don't get together for the goal of experiencing comfort and support at that age. If they do...that's news to a whole lot of people. If frequent comfort sessions with your teenager friends were a large majority of your childhood, that sucks dude!
Sadly people still act like this in their 20s and 30s though. I’m studying ******* therapeutic counselling and none of my classmates could come up with anything good to say to me when my dad died on the last week of class. We had been in the same cohort 2 years...people are disappointing.
For the "maybe they didn't know how to react" comments, it's not rocket science. "This thing happened to my friend that's really awful. I've never had any experience with this, I can't believe this happened to someone I know. What do you usually say when something terrible happens? Oh, right. 'Shit, dude, I'm so sorry.'" If they're old enough to tie their own shoes, they're old enough to know that much.
Well, some people do nervous-laugh when they don't know what else to say. One women I used to have a class with said that when she was told her dad had died, she was so caught off guard that her first reaction was to laugh, like in disbelief.
Yeah, definitely, I don't mean the ones who laughed - that can just be an accidental reaction too, like nervous smiling. Just "pics or it didn't happen" guy. That guy can get his shit together.
they didn't know how to react, never hat something that terrible happen to them.. keep your friends op, they are innocent let them stay that way and find others or a therapist for your abuse..
Some friends. I'm sorry you went through that as a child. Being someone who's gone through it, I understand how hard it can be opening up about it to those you care about :( Stay strong!
Oh my god **** all those people who said YDI. It's a tough situation to say that kind of thing and it takes a lot of courage opening up about it. I hope the person who made that vile comment really regrets it. Good luck OP, it was really brave of you to open up and everyone is with you here :)
Keywords
**** those friends, leave them.
Time for new friends.