Intimacy: Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour,...

By nickyboy - 02/12/2010 17:02 - Australia

Today, while having sex on the couch with my single neighbour, a beam in the couch broke. Not even slightly fazed, she said, "It's okay, my husband can fix it." Husband? FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 941

You deserved it 8 686

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Same thing different taste

Patience

By Anonymous - 18/12/2024 16:00 - Romania - Bucharest

Today, my wife texted me, saying an expensive piece of furniture had been delivered. I specifically said, "Wait until I get home and we'll put it together." An hour later, she opened it and broke it beyond repair while trying to assemble it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 104

I don't know my strength

By Anonymous - 25/05/2022 04:00

Today, I got home to my wife surrounded by plaster, old cement and bricks, and a fucking massive hole in the kitchen wall leading through into next door's kitchen. Apparently she tried to put up a shelf and the wall “fell down”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 948

You deserved it 98

To the left of what?

By Anonymous - 21/11/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband moved all the furniture a few inches to the left because he saw online that it makes moving around the house really difficult, and he wanted to test it out. Unfortunately, the one who tested it out was me; I got home, went to sit down, and broke 2 toes on the coffee table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 491

You deserved it 113

By godhatesme - 10/12/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 139

You deserved it 20 746

Caught in 4K

By Anonymous - 22/03/2009 13:04 - Malta

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 196 797

You deserved it 34 753

By Ignorant - 07/10/2017 06:00

Today, my husband and I had a HUGE fight, but we had amazing make up sex so I figured it was over. When I woke up, I realized my mistake. I was tied to the four bed posts completely naked and a sign was taped on the ceiling. "Repairman coming in an hour. Gave him a key. Have all your clothes. Have fun." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 033

You deserved it 906

By imatotalloser - 28/07/2017 05:00

Today, after months of telling my landlord about the weak floorboards in my living room, I fell through them as I was trying to repair them myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 283

You deserved it 344

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 3 104

This is why we can't have nice things.

By Anonymous - 29/09/2017 20:00

Today, my husband brought home a machete. In the process of showing me a trick he learned, he managed to slice a nice big hole in our brand new very expensive sectional. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 220

You deserved it 452

By fhe - 16/04/2012 15:52 - Puerto Rico - San Juan

Today, I was fixing a leak in the roof. When I was climbing down the ladder, it fell, but I managed to grab the ledge of the roof. The ladder hit my wife's car, then I fell on top of the ladder. My wife came running out to ask what happened to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 662

You deserved it 2 688

DrAwesome 6

Thursday 2 December 2010 23:55

She was talking about YOU, silly! She already wants to marry you! :D

CitrusGirl 0

Thursday 2 December 2010 23:50

You are probably a very unobservant fellow. If she's your neighbor you should probably see his car at least.

Comments

TheRealFamilyGuy 5

Friday 3 December 2010 0:08

desperate housewives.....NICE

Doortje 29

Friday 3 December 2010 0:20

The " " ruined the punchline.

Doortje 29

Friday 3 December 2010 13:03

They're gone now. First it was Today, while having sex on the couch with my "single" neighbor [...]. FML

machiko_fml 0

Friday 3 December 2010 0:24

Well why don't you fix it instead OP.

treesdevin 0

Friday 3 December 2010 1:43

your eyesss ... <3 ^.^

moosemonkey1000 6

Friday 3 December 2010 5:01

are creepy

austo97 0

Friday 3 December 2010 7:45

coming from the cookie monster?

Euphemism 0

Friday 3 December 2010 11:58

tree. The girl, is Brookelle mckenzcie. Something, she is infamous for her modeling of emo stylist. Google, and you'll be disappointed that you're flirting with a imposter.

twitchy73 0

Friday 3 December 2010 0:43

Makes you wonder how many other guys she had gotten onto the couch. Obviously enough to break it.

twitchy73 0

Friday 3 December 2010 0:43

Makes you wonder how many other guys she had gotten onto the couch. Obviously enough to break it.

KingDingALing 9

Friday 3 December 2010 0:43

So what? You're getting laid, OP. Be happy, you lucky sum-bitch.

xspaniardx 3

Friday 3 December 2010 0:47

What a *****! 8) But wait, shouldn't you know that she has a husband if she's your neighbor? But yet again, y should you care, you're A. Getting laid and B. She obviously doesn't care or she would have told you. Go You!

oldenuff2party 3

Friday 3 December 2010 0:47

hahah dude ur living my fantasy. now the husband of the woman ur screwing is gonna fix ur broken couch. that u broke while banging his wife. epic

SouthernRebfl 0

Saturday 4 December 2010 15:07

I agree

cooldukenukem 2

Friday 3 December 2010 0:54

Where is the fml? not your coach. you don't have to fix it. and you had sex. sounds like a win. If you were that conserned about her you wouldn't be having sex before you really knew her.