Health: Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass...

By DocBastard, meet DocCunt - 18/10/2013 22:12 - Australia - Sydney

Today, my surgeon was talking to me about my upcoming heart bypass operation. I was extremely nervous from the start, but he somehow managed to keep saying things like "death", "fatalities", "high-risk", and "never wake up" throughout. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 206

You deserved it 3 536

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Same thing different taste

Crossing a line

By Anonymous - 20/02/2015 19:25 - United States - Wapakoneta

Today, my surgeon was giving me the lowdown of what was going to happen on the operating table. I was anxious enough without him saying stuff like "cut you open", "quite a bit of blood" and "it's all quite risky." That's all I remember before fainting. My wife won't stop mocking me for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 037

You deserved it 3 367

By Anonymous - 31/10/2013 20:42 - United Kingdom - Leicester

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 651

You deserved it 3 551

It's alive!

By yes I felt EVERYTHING - 11/01/2022 20:01

Today, I went in for surgery. All my life, my biggest fear has been that the anesthesia would paralyze me, but not actually put me to sleep. The doctors assured me the chances of that are almost none. You can probably guess how my surgery went. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 966

You deserved it 145

Nice family you've got there

By Anonymous - 07/03/2015 10:34 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, while chatting with my in-laws, I told them about my upcoming spinal surgery. Soon after, when I went to get us some drinks, I overheard them murmuring about how many surgeries I've already had, how I'm a drain on the healthcare system, and how I should ideally just die. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 849

You deserved it 2 656

By pong - 06/08/2013 21:59 - France - Toulouse

Today, I asked my surgeon if I would be having a general or local anesthetic at my upcoming operation. He replied, "General, of course! It's gonna be a slaughterhouse in there!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 030

You deserved it 4 074

Am I being Punk'd?

By Anonymous - 05/06/2024 02:00 - United States

Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 96

Surgery gone rogue

By Anonymous - 03/06/2012 20:27 - United States

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 999

You deserved it 11 449

By NoPainNoGain - 17/09/2009 14:31 - United States

Today, I got my wisdom teeth pulled. Apparently the medicines don't work on me. I woke up in the middle of the surgery and felt EVERYTHING. One of the nurses asked if I was okay, and the doctor just kept saying "Don't worry she's just dreaming", while tears were pouring down my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 437

You deserved it 2 609

By deadman - 09/07/2012 18:25 - United Kingdom - Market Harborough

Today, I'm having heart surgery. The doc came in, donut in one hand and papers in another. While I was filling them out, his hands kept trembling, and he dropped the donut on the floor. He fumbled to pick it up and kept eating. The guy I'm entrusting my life to doesn't even respect the five-second rule. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 400

You deserved it 2 482

By Anonymous - 08/07/2011 15:46 - Belgium

Today, I went into hospital for knee surgery. When I awoke, I was surprised to find a bandage wrapped around my throbbing head. The nurse explained that a student observer had fainted in the operating room and his head had smashed against mine on the way down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 473

You deserved it 2 697

DocBastard 38

Saturday 19 October 2013 2:48

It's like I always say, prepare for the worst and hope for the best. Then again, hope is not a very good diagnostic or therapeutic tool.

tencentsakiss 19

Saturday 19 October 2013 2:33

This sucks, but they have to be honest with you about the risk.

Comments

wolfman2123 13

Saturday 19 October 2013 3:45

Well at least it's better than an ad for medicines risks

Llama_Face89 33

Saturday 19 October 2013 3:59

Yes make sure to make sure the patient is thinking about everything that could go wrong before we saw through their rib cage...

DocBastard 38

Saturday 19 October 2013 4:16

Technically they saw through the sternum, not the rib cage. And technically we want patients to be fully informed of all potential risks before we put blade to skin. Well, the good surgeons do.

sweetbliss3 37

Saturday 19 October 2013 19:50

I could be wrong docbastard, but from what I understand is he was already freaking out about it and he understands he needs to know the risks, but it was the fact that his Dr kept going back to the risks. it's a good thing to reiterate the risks but also you want to give the patient some kind of hope, which I'm not sure his Dr was giving.

sanecatlady 13

Saturday 19 October 2013 4:11

I can't believe the trolls on this site. Just because someone has to have heart surgery doesn't always mean their lifestyle is unhealthy! hope all goes well.