Intimacy: Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her...

By Anonymous - 09/06/2009 08:14 - United States

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 885

You deserved it 5 752

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Same thing different taste

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 74 107

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 320

You deserved it 35 538

By Ohai - 16/01/2009 20:46 - United States

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 593

You deserved it 3 081

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 520

You deserved it 9 798

Classy

By bkay26 - 29/08/2010 15:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom giving my dad head. Acting like I hadn't seen anything, I asked if I could use a towel sitting on the dresser. My mom said, "No, we're going to need that one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 837

You deserved it 7 668

Suave

By ooblie - 08/12/2010 08:22 - United States

Today, after receiving a lovely massage from my boyfriend, I was lying topless in bed beside him. Just as I was thinking this would be the perfect opportunity for some intimacy, he looks at me and says, "My mom is SO awesome." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 022

You deserved it 4 023

Handy

By Anonymous - 06/03/2011 18:15 - Sweden

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a handjob in the shower. As I was reaching climax, my mom walked by the bathroom door and started talking to me. My girlfriend didn't stop, and in order to distract from the situation at hand, I had to carry on the conversation with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 942

You deserved it 12 009

By nomorecleaning - 16/03/2013 12:17 - United States - Augusta

Today, I discovered that the reason my mom hasn't been noticing the extra cleaning I've done lately is because her boyfriend took credit when she asked about it; and was rewarded for it in bed. I helped him get with my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 186

You deserved it 4 047

By Anonymous - 14/09/2012 05:28 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I walked in on my mother rubbing one out. For the third time. I then had to explain to her, also for the third time, why pleasuring herself in the living room is inappropriate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 135

You deserved it 2 800

By Anonymous - 23/02/2012 20:25 - United States

Today, my mom tried to give me the sex talk, while I was mounting my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 834

You deserved it 37 559

log1k 3

Tuesday 9 June 2009 16:03

what... the ****?

ohmygawdz 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 16:05

FYL because your mom thought you would know that.

Comments

john32190 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 21:57

This gets the "Funniest thing I've heard all day" award. And congratulations on having a mom who does not know what a reacharound is.

curlybrunette 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 22:52

# 31 hahahahahahahhaa awkward turtle, everytime someone does that i cant help but laugh hahaha, to funny!, but ya , haha thats randomly awkward she would ask you that

goonisnvrsaydie 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 22:59

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!! holy shit that just SO made my day! i'm sorry that happened to you, but THANK YOU for posting this!!! lol but holy cow that's hilarious!!!

lolololcheese 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:04

can't they take turns? nah idk.

stinkybutt 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:11

thats a good question. i'd like to know!

Overcast117 5

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:15

I'm gonna go ahead and call OP lucky for having a mom that's so open. And then I'm gonna go ahead and still think that's a little weird. Not an FML, though.

miso1337 0

Tuesday 9 June 2009 23:15

uhm, OP never even mentioned whether they were a guy or a girl, soo all this stuff about about her asking him because he's gay... "he" could very well be a she...