Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with... - FML

By dumbblonde - 13/07/2019 00:31

Today, I figured out that the roommate who I let move in with me on Sunday is probably a prostitute. I’m a lawyer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 702

You deserved it 405

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Same thing different taste

Roommates from hell, part 47757

By Sofvcked - 29/06/2022 10:00

Today, I found out when my new roommate said she was self-employed, she really meant unemployed. She insists that I let her stay for free or she will file a sexual assault case against me. Rent is due on the 10th. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 021

You deserved it 143

By Anonymous - 23/01/2013 01:33 - United States - Phoenix

Today, I discovered that my downstairs neighbor is running a business out of her apartment. Or I should say, her pimp is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 972

You deserved it 2 543

By Anonymous - 22/05/2019 11:47

Today, I found out that my new roommate is dating my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 844

You deserved it 134

Not helping

By StillUnemployed - 11/10/2021 20:00

Today, I received a call from a potential employer. I was excited, until my roommate starts loudly moaning sexually in the background. The interviewer got offended and hung up. My roommate did it because I "made her" pay my half of the rent this month. FYI, I’m unemployed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 188

By wreckdit - 12/10/2016 23:55 - United States

Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 793

You deserved it 721

Roommates from hell

By why me? - 11/03/2014 07:21 - United States - Huntington Park

Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 727

You deserved it 3 358

Landlords are scum

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 19:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my landlord is sleeping with my girlfriend, and he won’t let me out of my lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 498

You deserved it 152

By Anonymous - 24/07/2016 03:18 - United States

Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 239

You deserved it 1 413

By eric4 - 23/05/2013 20:11 - United Kingdom - Cheltenham

Today, my roommate decided to splash out on a prostitute. When my expensive watch and the contents of my wallet turned up missing in the aftermath, his only comment was, "Shit happens, bro." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 446

You deserved it 4 360

By Dark_Cecilia - 01/12/2015 22:53 - United States - Fremont

Today, I called the cops on this guy who kept emailing me without revealing who he was. I had told him that if he emailed me again, I would call the cops, so I did. Turns out it was my roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 043

You deserved it 2 718

Next

Top comments

TCRII 29

Saturday 13 July 2019 6:10

So you both screw people for money...

mike3775 35

Saturday 13 July 2019 2:50

Well you have job security being your roommates lawyer.

Comments

Daniel Sandstrom 6

Saturday 13 July 2019 0:57

Sooo, you're a prude and you can't justify someone trying to get through life doing what they can even if it means they are in the adult industry as it is legal across most of the known world as long as they have a registered business, and if they had to bring clients home, as you would as well, they need to notify you

Sonotsuave 35

Saturday 13 July 2019 1:57

Dude are you stupid dumb or retarded? If this is in America and several other countries it’s outlawed, and either way even if it’s occurring in a country with nonexistent or regulated laws, it’s still a ******* concern that op’s a lawyer and therefore has moral implications to his/her job?

EmDizzle2007 28

Saturday 13 July 2019 1:26

times are hard.

bobsanction 18

Saturday 13 July 2019 1:44

You're a lawyer and you still need a roommate? Must be a shit lawyer.

mike3775 35

Saturday 13 July 2019 2:50

Well you have job security being your roommates lawyer.

PenguinPal3017 19

Saturday 13 July 2019 3:16

How is being a lawyer relevant? You think you'll make a bad impression with the police?

Memnoc 26

Saturday 13 July 2019 4:58

They could be disbarred for consorting with a criminal. It's against the moral code.

ChibiChibi_fml 27

Saturday 13 July 2019 7:26

I'm fairly certain that having a friend who happens to commit a criminal offense is not legal grounds for disbarment. If the lawyer was found to have committed perjury on that friends behalf regarding their illegal behaviors, yes, but for just being friends I don't believe so.

raven_of_azarath 34

Saturday 13 July 2019 17:10

But isn’t that basically what defense lawyers do, lie to keep their clients out of jail?

Emiweb 9

Saturday 13 July 2019 4:38

Sounds like a dodgy 90s sitcom.

RichardPencil 30

Saturday 13 July 2019 4:58

Sounds like live-in job security!

TCRII 29

Saturday 13 July 2019 6:10

So you both screw people for money...

Wadlaen 23

Saturday 13 July 2019 7:07

Well, now you got the possibility to expand your job to lawyer AND part-time pimp! Depending on how much she works, there's got to be some money in that. Wish you the best of luck!

donthatemebut 14

Saturday 13 July 2019 8:48

You need a tv show.

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I agree, your life sucks 20 106

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I agree, your life sucks 1 443

You deserved it 110

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I agree, your life sucks 28 382

You deserved it 1 950

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I agree, your life sucks 45 374

You deserved it 13 604

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 154

You deserved it 9 101

Today, I blew past my neighbor in my building as he was trying to tell me something. I didn’t care, I was going on my first date since last weekend. It turns out he was reminding me that the fumigation starts tomorrow at 8 AM. The tent is now up and I’m homeless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 154

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