Miscellaneous: Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles....

By fartypeepee - 18/07/2009 10:48 - Australia

Today, I woke up feeling a tingling sensation on my testicles. I enjoyed it for a few seconds, then threw off the covers. Looks like there have been cockroaches in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 468

You deserved it 10 501

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Same thing different taste

By Whyis Dremora - 30/09/2018 15:00 - United States - San Marcos

Today, I was abruptly woken by a scratching at my butthole that felt like a spider with a million legs. I've never leapt out of bed so fast. When my partner shined a light on the bed, we discovered it was a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 861

You deserved it 301

YAAAAAAAAAAAASS

By shat - 12/12/2015 07:14 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I woke up to the feeling of something crawling up my leg. I threw back the bed sheets and saw it was a cockroach. My dad said my ensuing scream was so girlish that he wondered what the hell my sister was doing in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 004

You deserved it 2 509

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 039

You deserved it 2 647

Night visitor

By Anonymous - 08/11/2021 14:00 - New Zealand

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to go pee. While in the bathroom, I felt something move inside my shirt but just ignored it, thinking it was my shirt brushing on something. Something moved again. I ripped my shirt off to reveal a massive cockroach inside my shirt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 408

You deserved it 150

Fear factor

By Anonymous - 04/05/2020 23:00

Today, at about 3:30 a.m. I awoke to the feeling of something dropping on my head. Startled, I turned on the light. It was a gigantic cockroach. I thought I'd killed it, but when I went to collect the body it was gone. I'm too scared to sleep. Even my dog now refuses to be in the bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 757

You deserved it 193

By DisgustinglyFrustrated - 10/10/2013 15:40 - Argentina - Rosario

Today, I was talking dirty to my long-distance lover while touching myself, when a cockroach fell from my ceiling and landed on the hand I was molesting myself with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 277

You deserved it 18 037

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 987

You deserved it 4 787

By GnarCarBar - 12/09/2011 23:03 - United States

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 803

You deserved it 4 669

By all5fingers - 08/09/2011 05:23 - Canada

Today, I was playing my guitar and felt something like an itch under my foot, so I attempted to scratch it by rubbing against the floor. The big cockroach made a very distinct "crunch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 640

You deserved it 3 249

By lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 083

You deserved it 4 857

korty13 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:07

why do u think they're called **** roaches

iSmellNice 2

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:05

lol cockroaches turned you on

Comments

aback 4

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:24

YDI for having roach-infested testicles.

Moemoemoe_fml 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 1:43

roach infested testicles has such a wonderful sound to it. someone should start a band by that name, hahahaha!

11bellacasey 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:27

Get it **** roaches lol.

rocketdog 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:28

Wow, hahahahha, you got turned on by **** roaches! Time to do some housecleaning! But that is disgusting.

CyclonePsycho 1

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:31

#6 - Never thought of that before. ;O

GrapefruitZoe 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:48

Actually cockroaches are very clean. Like cats, they groom themselves often. Also, their exoskeleton is so smooth that microbes rarely get stuck to it. The reason you find them in filthy houses is because they like to be "janitors".

starflake 3

Saturday 18 July 2009 17:10

I remember watching a documentory about that..

wink568 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 17:15

Haha, I was just going to say that. They're really about as dirty as whatever they're standing on. They evolved to be helpful to large mammals by cleaning up after them and eating more harmful bugs (fleas and ticks). It's only recently they got such a bad rap.

Happier_fml 1

Tuesday 26 June 2012 16:23

I never knew that! Haha as they say, you learn something new everyday!

11bellacasey 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:48

moderated this

jjenniferr05 0

Sunday 19 July 2009 0:43

Good for you. Lmao..

biggee531 7

Saturday 18 July 2009 16:48

There are 2 things that should never touch a straight man's sack: Transvestite's and ****-roaches. Half way there, FYL

damian25 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 5:03

sweet tattoo :D

JohnzSexyMamas11 7

Thursday 15 November 2012 7:43

Nice Tattoo :) .

fml2102008 1

Saturday 18 July 2009 17:11

you are a slob for having cockroaches. YDI

artisticlicense 0

Saturday 18 July 2009 17:22

i would have thrown off the covers IMMEDIATELY.

sarah2144 14

Saturday 18 July 2009 17:30

Am I the only one who notices that your name is Fartypeepee? This makes me think that you are a slob. So YDI for having such a dirty bed that cockroaches got in there.