By toastedguy - 01/12/2009 05:00 - United States

Today, I went on my first date in a long time. We went to see "New Moon." After the girl stole my hat, I grabbed her phone. While trying to get it back, she held a lighter to me, threatening me. Next thing I know my beard is on fire, so not only did I have to sit through horrible acting, I got burnt. FML
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You deserved it 13 166
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Top comments

Rellich 0

I want to say, "YDI," but no one deserves a psycho bitch like that...

120 3

Comments

Nomad609 0

This has got to be the most ridiculous FML ever. First off, she stole ur hat of all things?? surry but I can't stop laughing ;)) and why were you wearing a hat on a date Did she steal it inside the movie theater and tried to get away? was her cellphone out in the open for you to just grab it? LMAO A commotion like this would have gotten you guys kicked out already.. and who the hell threatens somebody with a lighter?!? HA HA HA you could just blow the light out and its all over!! ROFL I'm sorry but this story is hilarious =))

2 9
nomadxx7 0

All it takes is a thumb flick to relight it.... Plus do you realize how quickly and flammable hair is? I mean it doesn't even seem like it takes direct contact to burn it. I've burned my knuckle hair lighting a cigarette before and the lighter wasn't is on for that long.

4 0
your_face 15

I used to steal people's hats all the time. And he didn't say they were inside - maybe they had left the theater and it was, I don't know, COLD, so he put on a hat to keep warm. It is December.

2 1
nypd613 0

your beard on fire?? where are you from, Amish town? and anyway, after seeing twilight, WHO with good taste would even WANT to see the sequel? I seriously don't understand what all the hype is about. if Robert pattinson was good looking, there'd be something to talk about

1 8
blastvortex 3

YDI for going to a Twilight movie, YDI for stealing her stuff, and last but not least, YDI for not ditching her after she swiped your hat.

1 8
VeoV 0

YDI for trying to date a 12 year old.

3 9
VeoV 0

YDI for trying to date a 12 year old.

3 9
sdcrazy1018 0

Either she has really bad depth perception or you have an abnormally long beard

0 1
hauptubel 0

If you can grow a beard, then you are too old to be seeing Twilight movies.

2 1
Kylias 6

If you are old enough to grow hair, you are too human to go see the Twilight movies.

2 3
VereorTenebrae 0

Never should of gone with a girl who likes Twilight ~_^

0 3