Kids Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on...

Katherine - 13/02/2012 21:23 - United States

Today, I was talking to a friend about how many germs live on the average cell phone. My five year old son apparently overheard me talking, and decided to give my cell phone a bath. FML

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Carnival of Disasters
Dive into carnival, where hilarious costumes meet unexpected mishaps. Laughter is guaranteed, mask or no mask! …

So cute

lildale92 - 05/11/2019 02:00

Today, my youngest decided my phone needed a bath in the toilet. FML

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Ishowet - 31/05/2017 12:00 - United States - Hialeah

Today, my five-year-old son told me that I smell bad and asked me to take a shower so I wouldn't attract bugs into the house. I had just showered. FML

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Anonymous - 09/05/2009 14:45 - Norway

Today, my 3 year old kid wanted to do something nice. I told him he could pick up some of his toys. He washed my new Iphone instead. FML

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Ivy league

WasteOMoney - 04/07/2011 01:50 - United States

Today, my son called me from medical school, asking for a new phone. Why? Because he dropped it in the toilet. How? Trying to take a video of his anus while taking a dump. I pay $80,000 a year just to hear he took a dump on his phone. FML

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Cellphonetroubles - 19/11/2009 07:36 - Canada

Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML

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Kinda bizarre

@SamAnderson - 16/08/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my 17 year-old son has been using his phone on the toilet. Every time he poops, he takes his phone to the bathroom. Why does he need his phone to use the bathroom? He uses the toilet with his phone. FML

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RIP my best friend

Anonymous - 20/07/2025 09:00 - United States - Portland

Today, I put my phone in the dishwasher by accident. I'd left it on the kitchen counter with a bunch of dirty stuff and, distracted, loaded it in with the plates. I only realized it when the dishwasher started making weird noises. My phone was soaked and blinking with bubbles inside. It didn’t survive. FML

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Hair care

hairball - 22/04/2009 00:12 - United States

Today, my shower is being renovated so I washed my hair in the kitchen sink. I put my two year-old son on the counter next to me so I could keep him close. As I was rinsing out my hair, my son started playing with the light switches. He flicked the garbage disposal by accident. FML

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gangstalicious - 08/05/2009 21:07 - United States

Today, I got the cell phone bill for my family and saw that my son had gone over his limit by around 1,000 messages. Curious to see what he was talking about that much, I read the messages. Apparently, my 15 year old son is having it off more than me and my wife. FML

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shootme - 13/11/2011 22:46 - Canada

Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML

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desireev 17

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:07

Aww! He was just thinkin' of you Momma! Sweet little boy! :)

Razzle_Dazzle_5 11

Tuesday 14 February 2012 2:11

Scrub a dub dub IPhone in the tub!

stefaniekate6 6

Wednesday 15 February 2012 14:15

Lol that's cute :)

shenshen119 2

Wednesday 15 February 2012 14:40

Your kid is cute! Pls don't yell at him^^

SecretHero123 7

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:03

awww that is just too adorable, from someone elses point of view t is anyway. i'll have that kid as a brother over my annoyin little sister anyday

lumoloxi 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:09

That's so cute

lumoloxi 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:11

Are the germs still there?

unicornsglitter 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 21:02

obviously if the boy washed it there are no germs on it. herp da derp

WellThatSuxx 7

Friday 17 February 2012 2:00

that's adorable:o!!!!!!!!!!

jem137451 0

Saturday 18 February 2012 3:28

It's the thought that counts :)

Missy5683 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 0:03

that's so cute omg ;)

NayTheseNutz 0

Sunday 19 February 2012 11:55

Too smart for his own good!! Lol

MissUmSeriously 2

Friday 24 February 2012 16:08

Awww how thoughtful of him! lol

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my clumsiness reached a whole level when I hit myself in the face with a hammer hard enough for blood to come out. FML

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Today, whenever I try to rest or I get sick and tell my husband, almost immediately he says he's unwell with the same thing and dumps all the chores on my head. When I have a fever, magically he gets the fever too, then blames me for getting him sick. I really need rest from my chores. FML

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Today, I had to escort some dumbass teenager from Home Depot after I found him masturbating in one of the model washrooms. FML

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Today, while hugging my sister's husband, I accidentally let out a "Mmm…" sound in front my whole family. FML

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Today, at the point of orgasm, my boyfriend screamed out, "Is this all there is?!" then rolled over and stared blankly at the ceiling without speaking for ages. This happens a lot. FML

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Today, I sent my boss a picture of my cat instead of the report I was supposed to send. He replied, "Maybe I should've hired him instead of you." FML

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