Intimacy: Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed...

By sadinthesack - 31/08/2009 18:56 - United States

Today, I was making love to my girlfriend and was pretty impressed with myself for lasting through multiple songs. Then I realized her ipod was playing a medley. I only lasted 3 1/2 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 913

You deserved it 10 958

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Same thing different taste

By RollieCollieUSA - 30/01/2009 17:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I lost our virginity to each other. Before, I reached over to her computer and put on "Your Body is a Wonderland". Surprisingly, I lasted through the song and didn't realize her iTunes was on random. "Rape Me" by Nirvana came on. I still finished. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 743

You deserved it 6 673

By sixsix - 24/12/2008 11:19 - France

Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 210

You deserved it 8 680

Fast and Furious

By Anonymous - 02/03/2020 01:00

Today, my girlfriend were having sex. When I finished, she whispered in my ear, "30 seconds." FML

I agree, your life sucks 889

You deserved it 1 816

Careless Whisper?

By InsultToInjury - 28/12/2018 04:00

Today, I had a one night stand. After her laying there without moving for ages, she impatiently asked if I'd finished. Once she got bored and told me to just finish myself off, her song playlist began playing "Never Gonna Dance Again". Very romantic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 126

You deserved it 1 264

By fuckingads - 13/02/2017 19:00 - United States - Brookfield

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex to music, which we hadn't done before. I was getting close when it cut to commercial. I was so turned off by the idea of coming during an ad break that I didn't come at all. Thanks Spotify. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 717

You deserved it 2 168

Ed Shitren

By tommy - 20/12/2011 22:41 - United States

Today, after spending months learning how to play the guitar and memorizing the music to my girlfriend's all-time favorite song, I performed it for her. Her response? "Well, you kind of ruined that song for me now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 037

You deserved it 5 610

Guitar hero

By Jammy Handtricks - 18/08/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to impress a girl I like by showing off my guitar skills at a party. I'd hyped it up all night. When I finally started playing, I’d forgotten most of the chords and lyrics to the song, and ended up just strumming "Wonderwall" while humming off-key. She left halfway through the "performance." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56

You deserved it 828

By imsorrylove - 31/03/2010 04:44 - United States

Today, I took pills to make sure I lasted longer with my girlfriend. Good news? It worked fine and is still working now. Bad news? We've been done for a good two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 220

You deserved it 33 148

Bored

By Taylor parsons - 29/10/2010 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was going down on me. She only did it for 30 seconds, stopped, then said, "I'm not in the mood anymore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 467

You deserved it 7 546

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 20:12 - Canada

Today, after practicing a song for my girlfriend on guitar all day, I called her over to my house to show it to her. After a long speech about how "this is for you," I played for about 3 seconds before I broke a string, which slapped her in her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 292

You deserved it 6 382

vooper 0

Monday 31 August 2009 23:13

minute man, I CHOOSE YOU!

idratherbewrestl 0

Monday 31 August 2009 23:05

relax dont do it! when you want to come!

Comments

futureflow 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:40

22th yea!! lol

fatalkiss 0

Wednesday 10 March 2010 22:07

22th?

jannoreno 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 3:14

fail so hard

madmax14304 1

Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:47

Who cares? As long as you got off.

withered 30

Tuesday 5 July 2016 12:34

#24 Lol and then people like you wonder why noone wants to have sex with you.

Subjectzero 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:50

no vote. that's just under the average time it takes for actual intercourse. but you need to not focus on how ling you last, mostly on how well you made her feel the whole way through.

anonacs 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 0:59

the time is irrelevant, its the result that matters. if anything thats just less time shes out of the kitchen.

onni_fml 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:01

I wish I could last 3.5 minutes. Never had a girl complain tho :P Most are too exhausted from foreplay. Or polite?

O_HALEZ_NAW 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:32

Probably polite.

AshleyRose784 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:38

dude, work on that

graveworm 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 1:45

making love? hahahahahahaha!!!

dankadank 0

Saturday 5 September 2009 19:46

hahahah seriously i agree

mrose57 0

Tuesday 1 September 2009 2:29

Unless she's complaining, why are you?

withered 30

Tuesday 5 July 2016 12:36

There is no way she got anything from those few minutes. Sex like that is a waste of time and no sex is actually better than horrible one. I wouldn't count anything under 10min a sex.