Miscellaneous: Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk....

By anonymous - 20/08/2009 06:22 - United States

Today, I was eating with a friend while walking on the sidewalk. A couple of pigeons were bothering us so I threw a fry onto the street. As a flock of pigeons were gathering around the fry, a truck drove by. Only four survived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 525

You deserved it 49 984

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 14/04/2009 14:07 - United States

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 549

You deserved it 19 915

Alexa, play "I Ran" by A Flock of Seagulls

By John - 10/07/2013 02:48 - United States

Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 107

You deserved it 50 771

By fencernick - 22/04/2009 10:40 - United States

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 741

You deserved it 9 467

By bouda - 15/05/2011 18:19 - France

Today, I killed a pigeon. It choked to death on a piece of bread I threw its way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 079

You deserved it 7 562

Tippi Hedren strikes back

By B_and_W - 21/11/2013 11:35 - France

Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 040

You deserved it 4 952

Tasty

By Anonymous - 09/07/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I went to the supermarket and picked up some groceries, along with what I thought was a bag of chips. I ripped it open in the car and realized it was a bag of birdseed. As I spat out the birdseed through the car's open window and tried to clean the mess, a pigeon flew into my car and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 889

You're welcome

By Melanie - 07/11/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I felt like surprising my coworkers by bringing donuts. Feeling generous, I got a dozen from the most reputable bakery in town. On my way to the office, I tripped, and the box flew open, scattering donuts everywhere. A group of pigeons swooped in and devoured them before I could recover. I spent $30 on pigeon breakfast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 142

By dont_shit_where_i_eat - 29/08/2017 23:15

Today, during the few free minutes I had while rushing between meetings, I grabbed a plain slice of pizza to go. I stepped outside, ready to eat and walk, when a friendly pigeon flew overhead and added a "free topping" to my slice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 765

You deserved it 284

Alas, poor Donald

By Hit and Run - 13/07/2021 07:59 - United States

Today, while driving, I put on my hazards and slowed to a stop to let a family of geese cross the street. The pick-up truck behind me however, decided to change lanes and speed off, running over at least half of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 198

You deserved it 102

Surprise strike

By Anonymous - 28/06/2020 20:02

Today, as I was walking home with dinner, a pigeon pooped on my leg like a dive bomb. My hands were full carrying the food, so I had to walk the rest of the way with a smear on my jeans that everyone knew what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 377

You deserved it 196

papertigers_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:22

a truck? on the street? what are the chances?! it's not your fault, you couldn't possibly have known.

ijaywalk 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:21

Best FML ever. Now hunt down the survivors! YDI for awesomeness, coz your life totally doesn't suck.

Comments

dyld921 2

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:30

Know how you feel. I hate pigeons too.

thesearefunny 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:32

this is win

keitorin 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:33

HOLY CR*P ;____________; murderer D:

Jg2020 0

Sunday 17 October 2010 16:59

he isn't a murderer he killed an animal and it was by accident

meg13rocks 26

Monday 16 February 2015 8:03

I'd say killing an animal is still murder.

enishicz 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:38

For great justice!

sarahlizzy 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:42

Congratulations on exterminating sky-rats, citizen!

dallasFAN 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:52

*** PETA!!!

FPsLife 5

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:48

Pigeons you say? You did the world a favor.

ayashe 2

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:50

I hate people like you who through food into the street so animals can get run over, it's sick, whether you killed them on purpose or not. And as for you who hate pigeons can call them rats with wings, who do you think made them like that? It's not their fault their disease ridden, it's yours.

aback 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 12:56

I haven't been giving any diseases to pigeons. I'M not a pigeon-******. Don't know about you.

avalanche719 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:02

how are we the ones giving animals diseases? I'm sure the ones ******* animals aren't regularly on a computer unless they're looking for animal ****. Go eat some tofu.

wingedtoad 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:24

It's our fault pigeons are disease-ridden? They eat trash. Are we supposed to sanitize our trash before we throw it out now? Or keep it under lock and key until the sanitation workers pick it up to transport to their highly secure dump? Maybe we should provide pigeons with rooftop foot baths. Besides, pigeons are carriers of parrot fever (among other things), which usually starts out in birds and then is passed to humans, not the other way around.

Theos_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:27

They are not all disease ridden, just like not all rats or humans are. If you all had permanent diseases, me and a few friends would have killed you all already.