Intimacy: Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself....

By Anonymous - 30/01/2015 20:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 264

You deserved it 4 513

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Classic Dave

By Sarahir - 29/04/2020 05:00

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating into the kitchen sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 229

You deserved it 411

By chewybarseventy - 24/08/2010 06:17 - United States

Today, I came home to see my husband talking to his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 525

You deserved it 11 081

What a wanker

By no action Jackson - 27/09/2020 20:02 - United States - Hesperia

Today, I walked in on my husband masturbating. I thought it was hot and asked if I could join in. He threw me a disgusted look and screamed that I’d ruined the whole mood. Now we’re both unsatisfied. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 813

You deserved it 216

My little buddy

By Anonymous - 18/08/2009 05:37 - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband in our room completely naked. At first I thought he was waiting for me so we could have sex. He hadn't seen me yet, so I started to undress too to surprise him. Then I saw that he had drawn a face on his penis and he was talking to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 144

You deserved it 6 517

By Jill Shanks - 01/09/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I walked in on my mom's boyfriend jacking off. The worst part was that he didn't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 833

You deserved it 4 345

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 267

You deserved it 7 069

By Mrs. Ned - 09/09/2015 02:00 - United States - Incline Village

Today, I walked in on my husband having sex with the shower wall. When I got in the shower with him he immediately went soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 968

You deserved it 3 104

Zigazig Ah

By Anonymous - 17/12/2017 01:30

Today, I walked in on my fiancé while he was masturbating to the Spice Girls movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 401

You deserved it 814

By Isabell - 06/02/2010 05:31 - Australia

Today, my soon-to-be mother-in-law walked in on me masturbating, in my own house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 805

You deserved it 5 880

Caught red-handed

By Anonymous - 20/05/2020 17:00

Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 952

You deserved it 545

Retaheki 27

Saturday 31 January 2015 8:53

Sounds like Kanye West.

KhaleesiDannie 26

Saturday 31 January 2015 8:51

Narcissism at its best

Comments

jkjorn 16

Monday 2 February 2015 16:55

I think it was Woody Allen who once said "What's wrong with masturbation? It's just sex with the one you truly love." There's your proof right there.

Badkarma4u 17

Monday 2 February 2015 21:48

All I can say is. That's pretty awesome.

Random_Princess 19

Monday 2 February 2015 22:08

I guess he's... Narcissexual... No... Ok...

JKPwnage 27

Tuesday 3 February 2015 5:20

I didn't know Kim Kardashian has FML

Kittyphysics 21

Tuesday 3 February 2015 23:54

thats some pretty stiff competition op

jetsnation 5

Wednesday 4 February 2015 1:58

That's nasty needs to dump him

Nickoli42 3

Wednesday 4 February 2015 6:15

At least he's got confidence.

popgal 7

Wednesday 4 February 2015 12:29

sounds like something Narcissus would do

pizzatho 1

Sunday 8 February 2015 1:23

He sounds a bit.. cocky.

bitemediqhead 9

Monday 9 February 2015 7:56

I dont know how I feel about that.... Whether to think he's gay? Or super super narcissistic?

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

Today, the day after visiting my grandparents, I woke up with a sore throat and guttural cough. Once again, my mother neglected to tell me that she'd gotten cold symptoms after I saw her. Now I get to hope that she hasn't given me Covid again, and I haven't given it to my frail grandmother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 901

You deserved it 124

Today, I decided to get in the cowgirl position since it's my fiancé's favorite. I got a little carried away during the "ride" and suddenly heard his dick crack. I fractured his penis. He's never going to have sex with me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 586

You deserved it 962

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 884

You deserved it 4 515

Today, I did the whole 'rose petals, takeaway Chinese, favourite wine, and movie' thing. As soon as my wife got home, she said, “Great, now I have to sweep up rose petals, I’m not in the mood for Chinese, I was saving that wine, and I watched that movie last week.” I officially give up even trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 378

You deserved it 286

Today, I went to see one of my favorite bands. When they started playing my favorite song I whipped out my video camera and sang along. As I was reviewing the video later, I realized that I couldn't even hear the band over my horrible singing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 694

You deserved it 42 614

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 982

You deserved it 7 649