Miscellaneous: Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative...

By willieboom - 30/05/2009 15:18 - United States

Today, I turned 30 years-old. My dad, the only living relative I have, gave me a call. Not to wish me a happy birthday, but to tell me about "a hot piece of ass" he nailed at the senior center last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 733

You deserved it 3 061

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Same thing different taste

By NotSoComfortable - 17/12/2015 09:10 - Italy - Pontecchio Polesine

Today, I turned 18. My dad congratulated me and gifted me his collection of old porn magazines. Not bad, dad, but perhaps not during family dinner next time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 857

You deserved it 2 433

Oh no…

By Anonymous - 12/04/2014 01:40 - Canada

Today, it was my birthday. I only got one message, from my dad, which was a sexual image meant for my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 009

You deserved it 3 455

Close to me

By Furnando - 06/01/2023 00:00

Today, I called my dad asking him to wish me a happy birthday. Yay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 754

You deserved it 1 164

By thanks - 02/05/2014 18:20 - United States - San Francisco

Today, it's my 21st birthday. I got a call from my deadbeat dad, who I thought had finally mellowed and had something nice to say. Nope; he just told me I'm 21 years a disappointment, then hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 016

You deserved it 3 528

By AM - 31/08/2015 21:46

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 645

You deserved it 1 949

By Anonymous - 14/04/2018 15:00

Today, I realised yesterday was my 30th birthday. What made it worse is that my parents forgot, along with my other relatives and friends. No cards, no texts, no calls, no Facebook messages. Nothing. Happy 30th to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 646

You deserved it 651

By paige - 01/04/2011 03:18 - United States

Today, my dad came home drunk and called me hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 749

You deserved it 5 792

That's creepy, dude

By Anonymous - 04/10/2021 11:01

Today, I'm 20 years-old and I was propositioned by a 42 year-old man, who turned out to be my dad's friend who helped care for me when I was 2 to 7 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 107

Roll with it

By jonasister - 15/04/2012 18:43 - Sweden - Lund

Today, another of my dad's blind dates went bad, so I took him out for a beer. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and when I came back, two guys were congratulating my dad on scoring such a hot piece of ass, and said the sex must be awesome. My dad played along with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 451

You deserved it 3 350

Thanks for that, dad!

By Anonymous - 13/10/2019 01:00

Today, I mentioned to my family that I was sad about the fact that I was thirty-five years-old, single, and had no children. My father piped up from the next room, "What man in his right would want your lopsided tits, fat thighs, and fucked-up nose in their gene pool?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 499

You deserved it 259

CassT 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:33

Oho damn, no one needs to hear that. Happy birthday, man ! :)

bosco_kk 0

Saturday 30 May 2009 22:37

Once my dad told me his complete sex life, with horrid, horrid details. So I feel your pain. FYL, and happy birthday by the way.

Comments

ssfchik17 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 18:51

i agree with # 58

omigod 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 20:12

happy birthday to you, and happy day to your dad

nottoworry 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 20:14

whoa! are we related? That sounds exactly like my dad.

lil_miz_liz09 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 21:20

HAHAHA DADDYS A PLAYERRR. Happy birthday :)

skwelcher 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 21:33

lol, your dad sounds like a badass

KiwiBlu 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 21:43

happy birthday! :)

love_jd13 0

Sunday 31 May 2009 22:25

Aww! :( Well happy 30th birthday from all of us! :) GO CELEBRATE!

TurtleLG 0

Monday 1 June 2009 0:02

noice.

dyingstart 0

Monday 1 June 2009 9:28

That's what I call a bad ass old man.

sdawl 0

Monday 1 June 2009 11:21

that sucks

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 154

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I agree, your life sucks 46 887

You deserved it 19 565

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I agree, your life sucks 36 080

You deserved it 3 559

Today, I was upset with my girlfriend, but I didn't want to start an argument with her, so I didn't reply to her message immediately. She asked me what happened. I hesitated but explained nonetheless. She remained silent for almost an hour before replying she's busy at work, so she can't reply. Then why did she even bother to ask? FML

I agree, your life sucks 734

You deserved it 245

Today, I found out that despite having attended every university party held over the last two years, the only physical contact I have had with a member of the opposite sex is when the security guard stamps my hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 589

You deserved it 8 413

Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to confirm whether my country, Madagascar, really existed or not. Then, he took a picture of himself with me so he could show his kids that people actually live in their favorite cartoon’s country. FML

I agree, your life sucks 855

You deserved it 60