Miscellaneous: Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural...

By Anonymous - 18/08/2012 21:48 - Japan

Today, I not only absent-mindedly tried to scrub the natural suntan from my arm, I also spent several long seconds wondering why it wouldn't come free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 964

You deserved it 22 600

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 06/05/2009 00:27 - Canada

Today, as I finished putting self tanner on my legs, the phone rang. Telemarketer. After returning to the bathroom I put moisturizer on my face. As I looked in the mirror, I soon realized I'd forgotten to wash my hands. My face is now streaky orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 595

You deserved it 51 129

By soapy - 01/10/2011 16:08 - Canada

Today, while taking a shower, my back hair caused so much friction against the bar of soap, it stuck for a good second before coming free. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 085

You deserved it 8 940

Tanned pits

By huulo - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was getting ready for the school swimming carnival and was running very late. I reached for my deodorant and sprayed it on. It was only when I was at the pool that I realized I had accidentally grabbed the spray tan and covered my underarms in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 644

You deserved it 28 411

Back to reality

By Herbiee - 18/08/2010 12:01 - United Kingdom

Today, I shaved off the beard I had been forced to grow over the past 3 weeks due to forgetting my razor when away. Fifteen minutes in, with half my beard gone, I realised I had got a tan everywhere but my beard. I now have a large white patch on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 495

You deserved it 13 108

By betterthanhodor - 03/06/2015 15:46 - United Kingdom

Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 154

You deserved it 5 962

Skincare routine

By Anonymous - 05/03/2023 03:00

Today, I thought I could make my own skincare products from scratch, but I ended up with a weird, greasy concoction, which left a red mark on my hands. It's been two hours and the mark is still there, despite several washes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 270

You deserved it 1 401

Routine maintenance

By xXCHCKXx - 25/08/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, and for the past few days, my skin has been all blotchy and messed up so I tried a new face mask that was supposed to peel off easily. It ended up sticking to my skin like glue. I spent hours in front of the mirror trying to peel it off, one painful sliver at a time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 146

By needabettermirror - 14/12/2016 11:07 - United States - Holland

Today, I spent twenty minutes looking in the mirror trying to remove a blackhead from my chin. It was a freckle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 074

You deserved it 2 999

By owwwwwe - 09/01/2012 21:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I tried a self-tanner in an attempt to rid myself of my ghost-white legs. I got my wish, but instead of a warm golden tan, I have red, swollen, lobster-like marks sticking out from the bottom half of my torso. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 021

You deserved it 24 817

By Anonymous - 10/01/2011 19:06 - Denmark

Today, I decided to try a self-tanning lotion my friend had recommended. I put it on, and decided to take a nap. I woke up later and checked myself in the mirror, expecting to see a new, more tanned version of myself. I didn't. I'm now orange. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 589

You deserved it 39 998

nictransitglory 4

Sunday 19 August 2012 2:41

Intelligence is only skin deep.... So keep scrubbing

Kiki242 19

Sunday 19 August 2012 2:43

Really? Sounds like something snooki would do.

Comments

Zapagap_fml 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 7:02

Cocaine is a helluva drug

Speezy01 4

Sunday 19 August 2012 7:03

Snookie is that you???

demetrius19 7

Sunday 19 August 2012 8:40

im horny

Happier_fml 1

Sunday 19 August 2012 8:42

Scrubby scrubby!

br0ccoli 14

Sunday 19 August 2012 9:00

Asians are notorious for not wanting to get darker. OP, it's just your societal conditioning that caused your mental slip.

pcentral 17

Sunday 19 August 2012 9:04

Are you from the Gold Coast by any chance??

drummer121uck 1

Sunday 19 August 2012 9:17

Must be a blonde

expertsmilee 26

Sunday 19 August 2012 9:52

I was unaware that some seconds could be longer than other seconds until I read this.

mrsmaglietta 6

Sunday 19 August 2012 10:15

yikes

PhishloverA 14

Sunday 19 August 2012 19:01

Are you blonde?

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The Top

Today, I got a really bad cramp while I was swimming in my neighborhood pool. I started to go under until the lifeguard jumped in and saved me. I guess it would have been great, if I wasn't a fellow lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 785

You deserved it 6 163

Today, I received the good news that my spine looks normal. Either the degenerative disc that was diagnosed 5 years prior magically healed, or my current doctor is an idiot. Considering that it's felt like someone is chiseling into my spine for some days, I'm leaning toward the latter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 469

You deserved it 590

Today, I'm in hell. I'm mentally and physically exhausted, but if I sleep more than 6 hours, I get crippling migraines. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 104

Today, I found that my Facebook account had been hacked, and all my friends were deleted. As I tried to add them all back, Facebook reported me as a hacker for adding too many people too quickly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 556

You deserved it 3 729

Today, in an incredibly busy shopping center bathroom with my 5 year-old niece, I was squatting over the toilet seat to avoid germs. My niece then says at the top of her voice, "Auntie, why are you sitting like a kangaroo?" I'd say the whole room pissed their pants laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 751

You deserved it 8 432

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get it on. That's when the bell rang. He said, 'I'll just be back'. 5 minutes later, still no sign of him. I wrapped myself in a towel and went to the hall. Turns out his new PS4 had arrived. He said, 'I forgot you were here, sorry' and continued to play. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 903

You deserved it 464