"Dustin Allen-Duwayne Lakey" - 23/09/2017 04:31 Today...I lost my car keys. Then while looking for them, I lost the flashlight I was using...FML 29 27
Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML 36 931 3 252
Today, I realized that I wasted my time in college. I'm supposed to graduate next month, and I hate the career I'm going into. I could've focused on recruiting and easily found a job I would enjoy, but I decided to waste my time watching YouTube videos and playing video games that I'm not even good at. FML 241 1 555
Today, a customer complained that her salad had "too much lettuce." Her bowl was less than half-filled with lettuce and the rest was cheese. FML 11 276 777
Today, I tried to unlock my house's front door by hitting the unlock button on my car keys. It took me some time to realize my mistake. FML 19 955 8 184
Today, I got threatened with a gun at the drive-thru, all because my coworker forgot to include extra fries in the guy's order. FML 14 176 1 615
Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML 4 589 345
Not very bright, are you?
Just stop right where you're at and lay down before you lose your mind.