Love: Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other...

By Anonymous - 03/06/2011 21:12 - United States

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 916

You deserved it 7 379

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Same thing different taste

By drpepperking10 - 02/07/2016 23:27 - United States

Today, I was kissing my crush for the first time and her tooth fell out into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 384

You deserved it 3 270

By shitfaced - 18/09/2015 17:30 - Netherlands - Sassenheim

Today, I kissed my girlfriend for the first time. She recoiled in horror and asked if someone had taken a shit in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 709

You deserved it 9 541

By ricard0 - 27/02/2014 20:58 - United States - Petaluma

Today, I fell asleep on the couch, only to wake up later with my dog's tongue over my mouth. That was my first ever kiss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 076

You deserved it 6 148

By violated ._. - 22/08/2013 22:45 - United States

Today, I did something I'd always wanted to do: I went swimming with dolphins. It was really fun, until I went to kiss the dolphin, and she slipped her tongue half into my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 327

You deserved it 15 406

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 310

You deserved it 2 917

By anonymous - 17/07/2012 04:54 - Canada - Boucherville

Today, while I was volunteering at the homeless shelter, one of them "accidentally" kissed me. It felt like my face was being sucked by a vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 811

You deserved it 2 182

Freudian

By billjoebob424 - 10/03/2016 00:01 - Canada

Today, I've been so accustomed to kissing my girlfriend that when I gave my best bud a hug, I kissed him on the neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 419

You deserved it 7 473

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 605

You deserved it 88 998

By fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit - 12/10/2013 20:28 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 488

You deserved it 14 990

Hold me close young Tony Danza

By Anonymous - 04/10/2013 05:04 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 852

You deserved it 4 980

randomchickkk 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 1:40

you lock lips with your family?

DudeBTM 8

Saturday 4 June 2011 1:41

So you "locked lips" with family before?

Comments

Aznboifreakster 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 3:56

u actully kissed your family wow

just_a_dude_ 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 3:59

Well I hope you at least passed. Why don't ya ask someone out for a change?

Volvex 2

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:05

I fail to see what's bugging you.

TalkinSmack 6

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:10

Ur not supposed to violate the Annie doll! lol

KiddNYC1O 20

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:27

Family? Take into consideration where you're from, pimp.

AmberGale13 0

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:42

you locked lips with ur family? ewwww. that's incest ya know?

sourgirl101 28

Saturday 4 June 2011 4:46

Those things can teach you to save lives!

guti6912 1

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:10

thats ****** up

BigEyedOwl 1

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:35

was his lips dry?

allaturca 12

Saturday 4 June 2011 5:36

Maybe you locking lips with your family is what's stopping other girls from locking lips with you?

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Today, my dad sat me down for a talk. After the talk, he wasn't my dad anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 001

You deserved it 2 251

Today, I found out that when my ex needs motivation to go to the gym, she posts a picture of herself in a pair of huge pants with the caption, “NEVER AGAIN!” Problem? They’re my pants, that I'd left at her place after we broke up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 877

You deserved it 220

Today, my girlfriend won't stay over at my apartment anymore. Why? Because she saw a few roaches. Pest control comes every week and I spray every other day, so there's only so much I can about it. The worst part is now it's extremely difficult to spend time together because she lives with her mom and sister, who argue nonstop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 768

You deserved it 288

Today, I tried to quietly tell my friend that our professor's pants' fly was down. Unfortunately, I underestimated how quiet the room would go. The entire class heard me whisper, “His dick’s gonna pop out!” The professor looked down, zipped up, and said, “Thank you, but… dream on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 86

You deserved it 481

Today, I went with my sister to her company Christmas party. They had a gift raffle, my number was called and I won $25 for a local restaurant. A few moments later, the manager came over and said, "You don't work here? You can't have that" and took it from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 555

You deserved it 7 154

Today, while at work, a sneeze snuck up on me. Ever sneeze so violently your fake tooth shoots into the cubicle across from you? FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 588

You deserved it 345

Same thing different taste

Freudian

Hold me close young Tony Danza

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