Intimacy: Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed,...

By owmyhead - 21/08/2011 00:08 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that when a pierced, tattooed, and otherwise extremely stereotypical biker chick jokingly threatens to find you and beat you up if you don't call her back after a one-night stand, she's not actually joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 117

You deserved it 49 676

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Lost in translation

By tubby - 21/06/2012 20:28 - Sweden - Karlskrona

Today, my friend showed off her new tattoo, which is supposed to say "bad bitch" in Italian, and I had to point out that it actually says "defective female". Her response was to cuss me out and inform me that I'm no longer part of her social circle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 375

You deserved it 3 642

By shenmas - 08/07/2018 19:00

Today, while I was out walking with my girlfriend, I got beaten up and called an "abuser" by a gang of women who noticed bruises on my girlfriend's arms and legs. The bruises are from her karate class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 389

You deserved it 268

Tactical

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 18:30 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered the hard way that training in martial arts means nothing when the thug harassing your wife at the bar has a mate stood behind you ready, willing, and able to kick you square in the balls with a toe-capped work boot while you’re getting into your correct fighting stance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 367

Fight like hell

By Glass Joe - 23/05/2022 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I learned that kicking an armed mugger's ass is something that only happens in movies, and that brass knuckles are really fucking painful. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 291

By Anonymous - 23/09/2012 11:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 755

You deserved it 12 583

By NeverDrinkingAgain - 09/12/2010 12:31 - Canada

Today, I learned that what happens in Vegas doesn't always stay in Vegas. This includes my one night stand who turned up outside my front door with a suitcase in her hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 712

You deserved it 43 816

Parental love

By Anonymous - 15/04/2024 21:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my toxic daughter learned that yelling at a biker chick won’t just get her an argument, it will get her several broken bones and a concussion. The FML is that I now have to take care of her with her broken leg for six weeks. I hate her; she’s such a bitch to everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 338

By jibberish - 22/11/2009 00:15 - United States

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 702

You deserved it 39 019

By Anonymous - 30/03/2013 05:23 - United States

Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 837

You deserved it 3 450

High school drama

By never again - 27/09/2023 20:00

Today, I asked a girl from class out. Not only did she say, "Ew, no way, never, creepo!", but four hours later her boyfriend, who I didn't know about, threatened me with a gun if I ever even looked at his girl again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 127

iAmScrubs 19

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:21

Something tells me that she was the one giving the orders in bed.

jobo50123 3

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:20

Why didn't you just call her back?

Comments

MickMitch 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:24

Y would u want to anyways

mekaylahm 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:25

Lol I would have bounced and not given out any personal information .....im srry man

monkeybanana 7

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:26

That's baddd really bad lol

mattgallien27 0

Monday 22 August 2011 6:34

hi monkeybanana!

Souners 3

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:27

YDI for getting beat up by a chick.

sweetkitty26 0

Sunday 21 August 2011 9:28

You slept with that .. Thing? You sorta deserve it bc she's prob manlier than you and for choosing that low but she didn't have to beat up your ass. It's sorta like you've slept with another man.. Yikes ):