Miscellaneous: Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible...

By sassy_girl144 - 29/05/2015 10:58 - United Kingdom - Newbury

Today, I learned one of life's great lessons: it is possible to squeeze a Ketchup bottle so hard that the plastic breaks and everything lands on your face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 412

You deserved it 6 268

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Same thing different taste

Spice up your life!

By Anonymous - 26/01/2024 15:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I decided to spice up my lunch by adding hot sauce to my sandwich. Little did I know, the hot sauce bottle had a faulty cap, and as I squeezed it, the entire contents shot directly into my eye. Now, not only is my lunch ruined, but I also look like I just auditioned for a role in a tear-jerker movie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 460

You deserved it 123

By Dipping Tired - 20/04/2016 23:17 - United States - Brooklyn

Today, while half asleep, I dipped my finger in ketchup instead of a fry, and bit down on it so hard I needed stitches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 764

You deserved it 7 209

Cool moves, dude

By Anonymous - 14/09/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I caught a falling jar in the kitchen with one hand and I felt like an action hero. In celebrating, I yelled, “Did you see that?!” The jar then slipped out of my hand, smashed onto the floor, and splattered sauce all over me. My roommate flipped me the finger and left me to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 307

By fiery - 24/07/2010 00:06 - United States

Today, I was reaching for something in the back of the refrigerator. The bottle of hot sauce that was in front of it fell and broke. Not only did the glass cut my feet up, but the hot sauce got in the fresh wounds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 048

You deserved it 4 601

Cool moves

By UUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGHHHH - 09/11/2022 22:00

Today, I tried to open my water bottle, which is like trying to open a pickle jar, and after several seconds, it exploded all over my desk and clothes. Then, when I was going to get paper towels and a change of clothes, I slipped on the puddle and hit my head on my desk as I came crashing down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 786

You deserved it 192

Kitchen nightmare

By Anonymous - 29/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I tried to open a jar by tapping the lid on the counter. I tapped it so hard, the jar shattered, and I now have more spaghetti sauce on my pyjama pants than in the pot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 153

You deserved it 457

By stupidity - 25/05/2012 19:30 - Switzerland - Geneva

Today, trying to look cool, I threw my coke bottle in the air, and tried to catch it with one hand. I missed and it fell to the floor. Luckily, it wasn't open, but in my unimaginable stupidity, I opened it less than five seconds later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 785

You deserved it 39 036

Valuetainment

By Anonymous - 29/08/2024 09:00 - Canada

Today, I was trying to entertain my crush at a party by showing off my juggling skills. I confidently grabbed three random objects, not realizing one was a jar of pickles. Mid-juggle, the jar slipped and shattered, splashing pickle juice all over my crush. She just stared at me in disbelief, while I stood there smelling like vinegar. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89

You deserved it 736

By Lexi - 31/10/2009 20:15 - France

Today, after telling my best friend an idiot could make Kraft Dinner, I spilled boiling water all over my hands and forearms while attempting to strain the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 218

You deserved it 36 269

By Alec - 15/06/2011 09:02 - United States

Today, I had a sore throat, and I'd read that drops of Tabasco sauce on your tongue helps. I aimed the bottle at my tongue and the whole cap came off, covering my face and filling my mouth with Tabasco sauce, causing me to blow chunks all over the kitchen floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 021

You deserved it 38 224

chronicB 19

Friday 29 May 2015 18:00

That money shot

DaRito 25

Friday 29 May 2015 18:25

Well, thanks for warning us!

Comments

kmw003 17

Friday 29 May 2015 19:27

I just wanna know why you had to squeeze it so hard in the first place?

marshm610 18

Friday 29 May 2015 19:28

That's not the only thing that does that when you squeeze it

Arcanel 18

Friday 29 May 2015 19:47

How strong are you OP !? Jesus that's incredible !

RyRoz 19

Friday 29 May 2015 20:02

I just imagined a cartoon scene when they squeeze a bottle and this happenes. You should be hired there (as if it actually exists haha)

Redmai 22

Friday 29 May 2015 20:03

Too strong for your own good eh?

xluciferx666 21

Friday 29 May 2015 20:25

*boston accent* were you squeezing it wicked hahd

SabrinaEpic3 15

Friday 29 May 2015 20:29

What the....how did you even manage to do that LOL? XD

Abhinow 7

Friday 29 May 2015 21:03

you have muscles buddy

asmb100 27

Friday 29 May 2015 21:04

Don't worry, I once did that with charcoal lighter fluid.

worldclassrager 39

Friday 29 May 2015 21:20

Try a glass bottle next time

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I agree, your life sucks 23 610

You deserved it 46 456

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I agree, your life sucks 35 455

You deserved it 3 003

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I agree, your life sucks 13 489

You deserved it 1 171

Today, I felt the tag of my shirt bunch up in my skirt. As I reached into my skirt to rearrange it, it started moving. It was a four-inch cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 748

You deserved it 990