Kids: Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible,...

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 665

You deserved it 43 837

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Same thing different taste

Slow down

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "Slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple of little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street, calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 416

You deserved it 4 388

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 116

You deserved it 3 927

By anon. - 03/01/2011 11:37 - New Zealand

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 517

You deserved it 3 090

By E…… - 02/03/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 386

You deserved it 8 500

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 22:00

Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 064

You deserved it 1 651

Assumptions

By enderw - 16/06/2009 17:22 - United States

Today, I picked up my 17 year-old daughter after a late night movie in down town and got pulled over by a cop. He questioned us for a solicitation. I told the cop that she was my daughter but he said, "So you are the daddy?" and laughed. Good to know that my daughter looks like a hoe and I a perv. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 164

You deserved it 6 413

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 371

You deserved it 57 996

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 604

You deserved it 32 286

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 570

You deserved it 154

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 958

You deserved it 7 759

jayhawk63 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:50

Don't be creepin on the young ladies-moral of that story. Your daughter is a smart little girl.

Inkspell 2

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

ohhh, that sucks..how old is your daughter? that's a terrible thing to say.

Comments

ShananaginsLOL 13

Friday 22 February 2013 7:24

Good for your daughter! This reminds me of the Kesha song dinosaur

xRezSynn 15

Sunday 12 May 2013 18:26

The truth is the truth. Nah jk, that's rude for your daughter to say. I hope she's 11 or below

Heathtastic 10

Saturday 21 September 2013 0:20

Even though YDI if my kid said that to me she better enjoy her last look at the sun for a while. she'd be in grounded city

lalaney 14

Wednesday 30 October 2013 0:12

That's brutal. I feel sorry for you, man.

sammyjo06 14

Saturday 1 February 2014 7:15

Your daughter shouldn't speak to you like that, but you shouldn't be slowing down to hit on 20 year old girls, especially not with your children in the car.