Love and Health: Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she...

By Somethingtoworryabout - 26/10/2018 22:00

Today, I couldn't help but laugh at my girlfriend because she always becomes paranoid when she's around cars. I found her reaction cute and told her that "there's nothing to worry about". A car ran over me two hours later. I'm in a hospital now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 640

You deserved it 818

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Same thing different taste

By anon - 31/12/2012 18:13 - United States - Gilroy

Today, my boyfriend knocked into me with his car. I drove myself to the hospital because he couldn't stop laughing long enough to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 234

You deserved it 3 140

By man - 08/05/2009 21:46 - United States

Today, I was hit by a car. I called my girlfriend from the hospital and asked her if she could pick me up. She responded by saying "Fuck you, you aways tell me what to do!" and hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 356

You deserved it 10 374

Funny how?

By funnyguyNOT - 05/04/2009 21:39 - United States

Today, a car was waiting for me to cross the street so I thought it would be funny to slowly limp across the street. When I got to the end, I jumped as high as I could to show I was faking. Turns out I tripped and hit my head hard on the sidewalk. That car took me to the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 303

You deserved it 285 141

By Biggie - 12/05/2009 07:49 - United States

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend when she began skipping ahead of me and out in to the street. I saw a car coming right at her so I tackled her to the ground to save her. Turns out the car was stopping and was never going to hit her, and my girlfriend doesn't appreciate concussions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 811

You deserved it 12 926

By Anonymous - 25/01/2017 02:00

Today, I was driving to work, following my girlfriend's car. I looked down to change the radio station and felt a large bump. I rear-ended my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 783

You deserved it 5 093

By Tom - 25/11/2010 13:28

Today, a car hit me. I didn't get hurt, but someone called 911. The old woman who had hit me got out of the car with no problem to look at me, and gets back into the car. When the police arrive, she pulls out crutches and said I made strange faces and made her hit me. I got blamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 167

You deserved it 2 578

Didn't see ya there

By mbrooke - 23/03/2009 04:31 - United States

Today, a couple of friends and I were driving around town and saw a lady who had accidentally backed her car up onto a concrete wall. Laughing, we all turned to look as we passed and I drove straight into a parked police car that had stopped to help her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 184

You deserved it 102 502

By nolips - 19/11/2009 15:53 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend woke up very early in terrible pain. I drove her to the hospital and fell asleep in the waiting area. When I woke up, my car was gone and it was 9am. She had assumed I just walked home (32 miles), so she took the car. I was the only one in the waiting area. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 048

You deserved it 3 157

I'm innocent!

By DavidJ - 16/06/2023 18:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were on the road. She saw that I got an innocent text from a friend, Melissa. In a fit of jealous rage, she put the gear of my car to “P” causing the car behind me to rear end me. My bumper fell off. She told me, “Tell that bitch Melissa to take care of that.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 986

You deserved it 138

By Badnewca - 14/05/2009 06:07 - United States

Today, I drove home in my brand new car, hoping to surprise my girlfriend. She came out the house laughing, saying how funny it was, and how I look like a "twollop" in it. Then in all seriousness, she asked me when I was getting my "actual car" back from the garage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 143

You deserved it 5 210

RichardPencil 30

Friday 26 October 2018 22:44

Carma.

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 11 October 2018 1:21

Next time, make a less dangerous statement. Murphy's Law dictated that you were gonna be hit, and look what happened.

Comments

BurnInDemonFire 33

Thursday 11 October 2018 1:21

Next time, make a less dangerous statement. Murphy's Law dictated that you were gonna be hit, and look what happened.

Deez_Knots 10

Friday 26 October 2018 22:09

So she has a fear of driving in cars, or like she freaks out when she is standing near a parked car

RichardPencil 30

Friday 26 October 2018 22:44

Carma.

Paul B. Gyurcsanszky 14

Saturday 27 October 2018 4:43

Damn you beat me to it! 🤣🤣🤣

Emma Marshall 19

Saturday 27 October 2018 7:59

.....karma?

Emma Marshall 19

Saturday 27 October 2018 7:59

OMG I GET IT

BurnInDemonFire 33

Saturday 27 October 2018 10:33

Way to go, Dad. You nailed it.

TheSminty1 17

Friday 26 October 2018 22:44

It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you

Ruby_Rose 1

Saturday 27 October 2018 0:05

You should have followed ththe rules

chosha_fml 26

Saturday 27 October 2018 0:49

Cars are all about street cred. You made them seem harmless. What choice did they have?

John Nemeth 14

Saturday 27 October 2018 13:04

Remember kids frogger is a game meant to be played on a console not in real life For ***** sake we really need to put a disclaimer on frogger now?

hxnniemxrie 3

Sunday 28 October 2018 5:25

I AM SO SORRY I AM LAUGHING SIR OR MA'AM

Mint 5

Sunday 28 October 2018 19:53

You’re gonna hear about that forever

Keywords

Love Friends Teenagers Embarrassing Intimacy Sex Revenge Work Food Parents Relatable Awkward Miscellaneous Weird Health Job interview Social Media Jealousy Facebook Relationship advice AITA Kids Roommate Shoes Annoying Names Music Customers Money Education

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Today, my daughter is not only an expert in escaping her diaper but also in leaving her mark on every surface possible. Today's masterpiece: a poop trail on the hotel room rug. It was like a modern art installation, but with a distinctive smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 173

Today, my boyfriend is pushing for sex even though I’ve just had spinal surgery, his reasoning being I only have to lie there, so it’s not like he’s asking me to move or actively participate. He basically wants me to ignore my pain and become a masturbation toy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 685

You deserved it 159

The Top

Today, I drove to a party after getting my car back from the shop. A thunderstorm started as I made my way there and upon arriving, the power went out. The guests decided to watch the storm from the front windows when someone mentioned how funny it would be if a tree fell on my car. Seconds later, one did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 346

You deserved it 3 528

Today, I blacked out at work, on my lunch break outside in the rain, and woke up on the ground wet a minute or two later to everyone freaking out, all because I chugged my drink too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 410

You deserved it 595

Today, I figured out my boyfriend gets out of jail in less than six months. First off, I have a boyfriend in jail. Second, I also realized I'd much prefer he stay in than get out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 943

You deserved it 1 887

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 130

You deserved it 5 134

Today, I wasn't feeling too good, and took my temperature. I had a fever, which I told my boyfriend who was laughing hysterically when I told him. I asked him what was so funny, turns out he's been using the thermometer to take our dog's temperature sometimes. Rectally, of course. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 549

You deserved it 5 578

Today, my mom broke it off with her online boyfriend. That wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact he's in the military, knows our address, and apparently is threatening to kill himself if she doesn't take him back. She tells me not to worry cause we have guns in the house, but I still don't feel safe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 688

You deserved it 109

Same thing different taste

Funny how?

Didn't see ya there

I'm innocent!

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