Miscellaneous: Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred... - FML

By anonymous - 20/07/2015 01:23 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 185

You deserved it 3 440

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By me - 22/09/2013 13:34 - United States - Richmond

Today, I realized the only "person" I have talked to in the last two days is Siri. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 414

You deserved it 8 543

By boo8713 - 28/11/2012 06:06 - United States - Bell

Today, my wife wants to name our first child Siri, after the iPhone function. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 494

You deserved it 2 863

By MikeA - 09/06/2017 12:00

Today, I used Siri to text my VP asking for a good time to talk. Siri helpfully changed the text to ask for a "good time to talk my dick" and sent it before I could change it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 505

You deserved it 2 143

By stopstutteringforSiri - 05/01/2014 21:59 - United States

Today, I realized I'm so socially awkward that I can't even talk to Siri without stuttering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 6 111

By JillianJuneBug - 04/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Elmira

Today, I was listening to music on my phone. I activated Siri by mistake, which stopped the music. I told Siri to, "turn the damn music back on." She replied, "Now calling Afton." Afton is my ex. While trying to quickly end the call, my phone froze and the buttons stopped working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 308

You deserved it 1 466

Meltdown

By hey Siri save me! - 15/07/2021 04:01

Today, like most days, my mom screamed at me for not knowing the answer to one of her random questions. When I told her she could easily Google it or ask Siri, she went full nuclear meltdown and raged, "I’m not asking that bitch Siri, I’m asking YOU!" The words "batshit crazy" come to mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 991

You deserved it 134

By Anonymous - 26/09/2015 12:08 - United States

Today, I found out that my contact name in my girlfriend's phone is "Dipshit McFucktard". FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 957

You deserved it 3 990

Send message

By Tristan - 30/07/2020 02:01

Today, while messaging a possible new hire to set up an interview at my retail job, I meant to say, "Thank you for being flexible" - in regards to scheduling. Instead, it autocorrected to, "Thank you for being delicious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 296

You deserved it 336

That's a bad look

By Mortified - 30/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Exeter

Today, I renamed my home Wi-Fi to “PleaseTalkToMeSarah” to hint to my crush/neighbour. Later, I realized the whole apartment building could see it, and had worked out who it belonged to. Now strangers keep asking if Sarah had talked to me yet. She hasn’t. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79

You deserved it 754

By hahahawoww - 31/01/2010 00:32 - United States

Today, I discovered that my best friend of 3 years has me in her phone as "Stupid Bitch". FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 504

You deserved it 4 466

Next

Top comments

brewmasterg 34

Monday 20 July 2015 11:29

I hope you know she signs your emails that way.

Cads1 24

Monday 20 July 2015 11:22

Siri knows best.

Comments

rec_chem 22

Monday 20 July 2015 20:54

Siri calls me "Your Majesty". She only calls you what you tell her to call you. You must have been druuuuuuuuuuunk. Lol

ezrajab 22

Monday 20 July 2015 20:57

That's hysterical!

daemonsparta 16

Monday 20 July 2015 21:37

she calls me nothing because i have galaxy

psychocrystal 8

Monday 20 July 2015 22:01

If I leave my phone alone and my boyfriend finds it he tells Siri to call me "towelhead"

Tonymac617 16

Tuesday 21 July 2015 1:25

You can ask Siri to call you anything you want. I had her call me master for a while since I was feeling neglected at home and needed to hear a woman's voice call me something important FML lol

mitchell360 13

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:01

Must've been hacked haha

HowToGetFired 15

Tuesday 21 July 2015 2:43

Do you have a bf? Bc it's probably him

Rainbow_Princess 16

Tuesday 21 July 2015 5:48

At least she didn't call you vinegar ****...

sarcasmwins 24

Tuesday 21 July 2015 7:31

I'll take Sugartits any day over her response for 'What's zero divided by zero?'.

afrostybird 25

Tuesday 21 July 2015 9:05

This isn't a bad thing! Haha

2
3
4
5
6
7

FML on Facebook

Keywords

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

The Top

The Top

Today, I was given a building key that students aren't supposed to have because they'll lose it. I told my coach I wouldn't lose the key. The same key disappeared not even 20 minutes later without a trace. I still can't find it, and it's been an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 094

You deserved it 3 728

Today, my parents hosted a party at our house. After seeing one of the extremely beautiful guests, I went to masturbate in my room. When I was about to finish, my bedroom door opened suddenly. It was my mom showing around 10 party guests that our dog can open doors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 315

You deserved it 87 355

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 763

You deserved it 3 669

Today, I was at my aunt and uncle's house. I went to the bathroom and after I washed my hands, I took a Q-tip out of the carton to clean my ears. When I reached for a second one, I noticed that every Q-tip in the carton was actually already used. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 271

You deserved it 8 267

Today, a customer violently ranted how people in Latin America are "nothing but filth" compared to the “clean, civilized” people of "Anglo countries like Australia and New Zealand." All because I told him that flash photography is not permitted. If that’s not bad enough, the police were unwilling to do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 770

You deserved it 156

Today, my 6 year-old daughter saw me putting on makeup and asked, “Mommy, are you trying to look less tired or more alive?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 120