Miscellaneous: Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig...

By squeltorey - 03/08/2012 19:28 - United States - Whittier

Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 831

You deserved it 11 184

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Same thing different taste

By Kyle - 05/01/2012 06:58 - United States

Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 928

You deserved it 35 976

By inalotofpain - 16/04/2011 12:46 - United States

Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 493

You deserved it 3 922

Backfire

By Anonymous - 14/07/2012 20:10 - Nigeria - Lagos

Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 176

You deserved it 54 790

By Anonymous - 04/08/2013 00:46 - United States - Kerman

Today, I was at the store with my kids. My 5-year-old son wanted to carry the milk carton, so I let him. He dropped it and it spilled. I was really embarrassed. Then he decided to get on the floor and lick the milk off the ground. Everyone stared at me accusingly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 306

You deserved it 7 322

By francesa_loca - 14/10/2011 16:09 - Canada

Today, my father started drinking a little early. At some point, he got hungry and decided to boil eggs. He started a dozen, drank some more, and passed out on the couch. When I came home, all the water had boiled off and the eggs had exploded all over the kitchen. I'm still cleaning up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 986

You deserved it 2 529

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 02:00

Today, I saw my little brother drink from the milk carton, gag, and spit the milk back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 289

You deserved it 481

Skittish

By Anonymous - 18/07/2023 22:00 - Netherlands - Hardenberg

Today, my dad came home and wanted to grab a glass. It wasn't in direct sight so he slammed the cupboard door so hard, I peed my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 190

By of course - 20/04/2019 12:00

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. needing a drink. Not only did my cat wake everyone up when I tripped over him, but I also spilled a whole gallon of milk on myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 773

You deserved it 573

By yamuda - 11/05/2016 23:24 - Ireland - Carlow

Today, I walked into the kitchen to see my dad peeing into a cup. We made eye contact and he quickly threw the cup into the sink. Not one word has been spoken about what happened, and I saw my mom use the same cup later on that day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 238

You deserved it 2 039

By megean c.l. - 20/01/2013 21:36 - United States

Today, my dad was making drinks for my mom and himself, so I asked him to make me some coffee too. When he brought me my drink, I took a sip, and realized he'd poured salt in it. As I gagged, he muttered, "Next time, make it yourself." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 865

You deserved it 8 023

Feklfekl2222 32

Saturday 4 August 2012 2:51

Who drinks from the carton that's just disgusting.

Bluekaren16 19

Saturday 4 August 2012 2:51

A carton of milk isn't that heavy.

Comments

KiwiiLemon 5

Saturday 4 August 2012 19:57

next time use a glass instead of making a fool of yourself!

Zehla 7

Saturday 4 August 2012 20:27

It isn't gross to drink from the carton unless you live with people you aren't close to. I figure if I can kiss my boyfriend, there aren't any gross cooties on the milk carton when he drinks from it. Plus it saves on dishes if all you need is a swig of it anyway.

5t3ff1k4h 44

Saturday 4 August 2012 22:49

Actually, it is kind of gross... sorry, but I don't want to be swapping spit with my parents and/or siblings. Get a damn glass. If you've got a dishwasher, what's it to you? If you have to hand wash your dishes, what's one dish? Boo hoo.

sophie22_fml 8

Saturday 4 August 2012 21:40

Fk the lives of all the people who live with you, they have to drink milk with all your saliva and nasty germs you left whenever you drink out of the carton, that's just disgusting.

MrsAlexander83 10

Saturday 4 August 2012 21:43

And how does "not knowing your own strength" qualify as tilting something out up to pour out? There's no strength needed in that. You were just being a pig--obviously since you were drinking out of the carton that EVERYONE IN YOUR HOUSE USES--and threw your head back all too arrogant! Next time get a glass. I hope you had a lot to clean up!

J3NNI3LYNN 9

Saturday 4 August 2012 22:04

Wouldn't you have overestimated the weight of the bottle and underestimated your strength?

desertpunk75 11

Saturday 4 August 2012 23:15

Does Dad know you have a Bukkake fetish?

melrose90210 10

Sunday 5 August 2012 3:59

Hate to break it to you, but I don't think your 'strength' was the problem here

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 5 August 2012 5:35

Your dad had an awesome reaction. I can imagine his face, seeing you standing there with your face covered in white stuff. But seriously, use a glass. No one wants to use milk after some pig drinks straight out of the carton. YDI