Miscellaneous: Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am... - FML

By single now - 26/02/2010 05:07 - United States

Today, a friend of mine sent me a message saying, "Man, I am so sorry but we were both really drunk and I swear it didn't mean anything." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 427

You deserved it 4 332

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Same thing different taste

By Tomaino - 18/08/2019 04:02

Today, my best friend got drunk and told me he's only friends with me because no one else will be friends with him. He then went on to tell me that he wasn't actually that drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 718

You deserved it 156

By rachaaaaeul - 06/08/2010 07:07 - United States

Today, I was texting my boyfriend about yesterday, where he told me how much he loved me, and he wishes we lived closer. I asked him if he really meant it. Turns out he was drunk, and had no idea what he was talking about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 089

You deserved it 4 025

Boring

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 14:58 - Canada

Today, after drunk texting a girl the night before, I sent her a message saying I was sorry for everything I said. All she could say back? "Those were some of the most normal drunk texts I have ever read. I'd hate to see how boring you'd be sober." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 467

You deserved it 7 618

Chuds out on the town

By GeeThanks - 25/07/2013 02:33 - Canada - Toronto

Today, a drunk dude walked up to me and said, "You're ugly as fuck." His sober friend quickly apologized and explained that he was wasted, before looking me up and down and adding, "Well, not completely, I guess." FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 588

You deserved it 3 999

By Inconnu - 18/06/2011 05:13 - France

Today, I was holding my drunken friend's hair while she threw up in the toilet at a party. She said, crying, "Y'don't have to do this..." I told her that that's what friends are for. She replied, "Yeah, but I did sleep with your boyfriend..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 613

You deserved it 3 869

By Anonymous - 21/03/2011 06:20 - United Kingdom

Today, it was my friend's 18th birthday. She had invited us out drinking. I've never had alcohol before and was very excited. I got a call explaining that she had invited one too many and asked me not to come. People bragging on facebook about what a great time they were having didn't help either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 506

You deserved it 6 267

The hangover from hell

By jeannie - 20/09/2023 14:00 - Canada - Montréal

Today, slightly drunk from a head-frazzle of a night out from hell, I sent a text meant for my friend recounting the terrible date I'd just been on… to the date himself. He replied with, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 924

By gayvsgay - 06/03/2016 15:31 - Germany - V?lklingen

Today, my dad posted on Facebook, apologizing to anyone he'd texted the night before. He said he'd gotten wasted and didn't mean anything he said. So much for that first ever "I'm proud of you" then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 842

You deserved it 1 832

By sober - 12/02/2009 02:09 - United States

Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 79 407

You deserved it 4 334

Here for you

By indefiniteforest - 10/09/2016 04:11 - United States - Hillsboro

Today, my best friend texted me and told me she broke up with her boyfriend. Trying to be supportive, I sent a long message about how he never deserved her and that I was there for her if she needed someone to vent to. She replied, "Are you high?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 062

You deserved it 1 151

Next

Top comments

jonr93 0

Friday 26 February 2010 12:00

That....... is an issue.

lettertjes 0

Friday 26 February 2010 12:07

That sucks, but I love how you phrased it.

Comments

tboudre 0

Saturday 27 February 2010 21:48

did your butthole hurt, too?

caisonaboat 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 3:48

wait, what? This is so vague.

_sourpatchkid 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 16:59

At first I thought it referred to an elicit tryst between the two friends while they were intoxicated, but I'm pretty sure the friend slept with the girlfriend. Hence the poster's name, "singlenow". That's just a crappy way to find out.

_sourpatchkid 0

Sunday 28 February 2010 17:01

at first i thought this referred to a tryst between the two friends while they were intoxicated, but upon review, i'm pretty sure the friend slept with the OPs girlfriend/boyfriend. Hence hsi name, singlenow.

astriofou 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 3:47

i dont understand.. is this a sexual thing. i dont really get how it didnt mean anything..

bzktactics97 0

Friday 13 May 2011 22:39

that's a situation

lurveu_mysweet_t 0

Thursday 7 July 2011 5:18

wait a minute!..... did his friend hook up with his gf or did they have sex with eachother

auntgela 0

Friday 28 October 2011 3:16

Awkward...

luckycharm143 5

Monday 28 November 2011 5:50

Maybe he sent it to the wrong person?

IdfkMyUsernamexC 5

Wednesday 30 November 2011 2:36

Don't expect anything serious, when your drunk.

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Today, my boss called me into his office. I've been working hard doing extra work so I can get promoted. He called me in to tell me I'm to reliable in my current position, so I won't be moving up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 363

You deserved it 338

Today, I was on my way to work behind a very slow car. At a red light, the lady came over and punched me in the face for following her too closely. We are coworkers and our desks are next to each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 591

You deserved it 4 245

Today, I found out that my wife's dog had peed on my side of the bed, while I was sleeping. I thought I had just drooled in my sleep, until I noticed it had turned yellow during the day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 442

You deserved it 211

Today, I found out I can't enroll in a course I need for my degree. I don't have the right prerequisites. They weren't posted anywhere. The applications for similar courses I could've taken instead have closed last week. I lost a year and a fuckton of money because I waited for the last minute, and now I can't get in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 1 562

Today, I was told by a doctor that I have a fatal disease, and that I should start making preparations for when I pass away. Then, another doctor showed up, panicking, and said that was meant for someone else with the same first name as me. The mini-heart attack I had at that moment almost killed me anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 96

Today, I was finishing a conversation with my husband. His phone rang, but he didn't take it. He said, "No, the guy said he was going to call me at 11:30 and it's 11:36. I'll call him in 3 minutes." It was then I realized that I have been the subject of this type of petty control for over 30 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 127