To-Do List Blues By FML Approved - 08/10/2017 21:00 So much to do, so little desire... I agree, your life sucks 442 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, my boyfriend went down on me with whiskey in his mouth. It felt like my genitals were on fire. FML I agree, your life sucks 30 922 You deserved it 6 946
Today, I planned my own wedding down to the very last detail, including favours for my guests, the sweets buffet and the bouquet of flower brooches I want. Too bad I'm still single. FML I agree, your life sucks 11 866 You deserved it 37 806
Today, my neighbour came over with a bag containing lingerie, and apologized while blushing. Turns out his boy was the reason that my lingerie kept disappearing from my garden clothesline recently. His "boy" is over 20 years younger than me. FML I agree, your life sucks 43 379 You deserved it 4 264
Today, I was rushing to leave work and get home because I really had to use the bathroom. My phone rang and I thought it was my husband, so I answered by saying, "I really have to poop." Yep, not my husband. It was one of my employees, who has the same name. FML I agree, your life sucks 10 830 You deserved it 33 968
Today, my girlfriend told me that if my penis was on any other body it would be considered small, but on me it's "cute." FML I agree, your life sucks 43 111 You deserved it 4 517
Today, I lost my virginity. We did it on the floor in my step-sister's room, and the entire time he kept pushing my head into the carpet. I lost my V-card but gained rug burn on my face that looks like a fatal disease. FML I agree, your life sucks 50 627 You deserved it 23 108