Today, my boyfriend took me to his place to meet his parents. When they saw me, they laughed. FML
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. This was after I saved several paychecks to afford to give her a weekend away for her birthday. Why did she end things so quick? Because apparently I'm balding faster than her Dad. I'm 20. FML
Today, I was taking some "me time" when my neighbor drove past and saw me. What I failed to realize was that my dog had pushed the shades open for my body to be right on display. FML
Today, I was helping supervise a 5 year-old's birthday party in an inflatable obstacle course. I was playing hide and seek with them. I saw the birthday boy and crept around the corner and yelled, "Found you!" He peed his pants. FML
Today, my family asked where I wanted to go for my birthday dinner. They shot down my every suggestion and decided on sushi. I'm allergic, so the only thing I could eat was a veggie appetizer. Dad said I need to "expand my palate." FML
Today, I spent hours trying to get a piece of food out of my two front teeth. I didn't have anything I could use, until I went out to dinner and got a toothpick. I finally got the food out of teeth. The toothpick broke. Now the tip of the toothpick is stuck in my teeth. FML
Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML
Maybe they were relieved he brought home a real girl instead of an imaginary one...
Wow, what assholes