Love, Video games, Break-ups My ex Thanks, I guess - FML

Thanks, I guess

Anonymous - 03/01/2011 10:08 - United States

Today, my ex-girlfriend came over to console me after a breakup. After beating me repeatedly in Mario Kart, she decided to leave. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Mario Kart is serious business

Anonymous - 25/08/2014 05:44 - United States - Bowling Green

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

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I warned him - 19/12/2014 02:39 - United States - Marietta

Today, I beat my boyfriend in a video game. He promptly dumped me and told me to leave. FML

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Vampire Teabag - 12/02/2015 16:25 - United States - El Paso

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me after I beat her once again in a trivia game. She said that I was cheating, and if I was cheating on the game, I was definitely cheating on her as well. FML

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Domestic

baberuth - 19/06/2015 22:21 - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

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Ari - 16/06/2011 04:19 - United States

Today, a man came up to me and punched me in the face. He turned out to be the guy my ex-girlfriend cheated on me with. Apparently, she told him we broke up because I used to beat her. FML

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thatCanadianGuy7 - 29/06/2009 19:55 - Canada

Today, I got beaten up by my ex-girlfriend's older brother who does mixed martial arts, because my ex saw me making out with another girl. We broke up over 6 months ago. FML

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The best part of breaking up…

Anonymous - 19/10/2009 23:51 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

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Anonymous - 12/12/2013 21:53 - New Zealand - Napier

Today, my girlfriend sent her new boyfriend over to my place to break up with me for her. FML

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Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

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whysheheartless - 03/11/2009 07:24 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. By making out with her new boyfriend in front of me. FML

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Stepherrss 0

Monday 3 January 2011 19:37

& This is a FML why? Were you expecting your EX to stay the night and **** your brains out? Grow up, she came over as a friend, to help out, not to screw you to make you feel better.

PhillyFox 0

Monday 3 January 2011 18:52

And then you realized there's a reason she's your ex.

TheLetterZero 7

Tuesday 4 January 2011 2:09

Funny. My cousin (female) beats me at Mario Kart every time. Are girls naturally better at Mario Kart than guys? I'm getting suspicious...

cH1N1chunga 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:10

it could be worse she could have beaten u in black ops with 0-7500

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:11

Boyfriend: *loses for the 100th straight time* Girlfriend: I think I've kicked your ass enough. It's time i hit the ol' dusty trail. *puts hat on and leaves*

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 4:20

Getting girls is like catching Pokemon! If you don't weaken that pokemon enough you'll have a harder time catching it! Even though you could just use your Master Ball and catch it without doubt. Use your Master Ball to win her back!

kateindeed 5

Tuesday 4 January 2011 8:21

I swear, if one more guy throws his master ball at me, I'm calling the cops.

Illyssa_fml 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:56

Hahaha! Is that why you broke up with her? Cuz she beat you at Mario Cart all the time? hahaha

Illyssa_fml 4

Tuesday 4 January 2011 9:58

Kart*

tiredofthis54 0

Tuesday 4 January 2011 19:49

haha mariokart

Zebidee 8

Tuesday 4 January 2011 22:54

For some reason, I pictured Sirin as the ex-girlfriend in this story...

Sirin_fml 46

Tuesday 4 January 2011 23:02

To be fair, I'd be beating him over the head with the games console instead.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I woke up cold. The guy I had sex with last night stole my blanket. He also took everything out of my freezer, and all of my soap, shampoo, and conditioner. The number he left me was for a pizza place. FML

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Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

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Today, I went to a nice restaurant with my grandfather, who kept telling me to be kind towards our waiter, as he was probably just starting his summer job. The same waiter who, as my granddad had probably forgotten, had brought us our food six months ago and was now standing four feet away. FML

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Today, I stood for half an hour in the rain waiting for my bus. As I started to go inside, my bus turned around the corner and splashed water all over me. The bus driver wouldn't let me on the bus because I was soaking wet and I would "mess up the seats". FML

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Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

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Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML

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