Intimacy, Sex and NSFW: Thanks, but no thanks

Thanks, but no thanks

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 11:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend offered me a threesome with her best friend. Sounds like every guy’s dream, except I find her friend so absolutely fucking repulsive that I’d rather go piranha fishing with a steak wrapped around my dick then put it anywhere near her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 290

You deserved it 77

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Same thing different taste

By Junktown - 07/07/2011 14:40 - Israel

Today, I was propositioned by an incredibly pretty girl. I'm a 24 year old virgin; she's my best mate's girlfriend. She tells him everything when drunk, and he's a black-belt in karate. This could officially be classified as torture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 692

You deserved it 6 352

By anonymous - 06/03/2019 14:00

Today, after almost a year of having threesomes with my “best friend” and her husband, they both confessed that neither of them actually even like me. They just went along with it because they thought it’s what the other wanted. Now they won’t even talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 647

You deserved it 838

Weird relationship

By Anonymous - 11/12/2022 09:00

Today, my new girlfriend introduced me to her bisexual best friend. I can’t help but find it weird that he helped her fake tan, completely naked, or the time he helped her wax her muff, also completely naked, while she waxed his balls and ass crack. This might be too weird for me to tolerate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 271

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 16/04/2009 00:13 - United States

Today, I had dinner with the girl I thought I would end up marrying. Everything was going well and after I had paid the bill, she said she was a lesbian. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, she challenged me to see who could hook up with a straight girl first. I lost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 717

You deserved it 7 430

By Brennan Lebrun - 18/05/2018 05:00

Today, I went to my best friend's house to propose to my girlfriend of 6 years. When I walked in, she was having sex with my best friend's 37-year-old brother. She then yelled, ”You should have knocked first!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 956

You deserved it 378

I'm not the main character in this scene

By Anonymous - 21/12/2023 00:00 - Norway

Today, I went to the movies with a girl I like, then we went to grab a bite afterwards. She spent most of the time telling me how much she dislikes my best friend because he hooked up with a new girl. I then found out the two had been "talking" for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 122

New horizons

By did I wake up in a porn? - 15/07/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, out of a desire for revenge, I went over and confronted the girl my boyfriend cheated with. Somehow, we ended up in bed together. Worse, she's amazing. I'm now seriously considering asking if we can be a throuple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 157

You deserved it 767

Third wheel of the third wheel

By jon - 26/02/2024 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I went a double date with my coworker, his girlfriend, and her friend. After some drinks, her best friend stopped including me in conversations. We got back to my place and she was trying to fuck both of them, and ignored me all night. This is the third girl this happened with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 525

You deserved it 170

By Sub - 04/12/2009 01:14 - United States

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to a female friend of mine, because I thought they would get along. Apparently they get along better than I expected; she dumped me for the other girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 709

You deserved it 4 382

By OnlyAvailableID - 08/02/2015 08:35 - Australia

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 093

You deserved it 3 685

Vesi 29

Thursday 28 May 2026 21:34

FWIW.. OP didn't say *physically* repulsive.. just repulsive. A person can be the most beautiful on earth and still be absolutely repulsive in behaviour and mannerisms.

angus 16

Thursday 28 May 2026 21:50

She’s probably trying to do her friend a favour… and she expects you to take one for the team. You don’t have to say yes

Comments

copalolita 15

Thursday 28 May 2026 20:15

You’re a misogynist pig. You only wanna bang her if she fits your unrealistic beauty standards? **** you. You’re probably no prize yourself and you have the audacity to be a choosy douchebag.

Vesi 29

Thursday 28 May 2026 21:34

FWIW.. OP didn't say *physically* repulsive.. just repulsive. A person can be the most beautiful on earth and still be absolutely repulsive in behaviour and mannerisms.

FluffythePink 23

Thursday 28 May 2026 22:44

A point that the person you are replying to might wish to contemplate rather than just reactively savaging anything that gets their knickers in a twist.

SAgirl 20

Thursday 28 May 2026 22:54

Holy cow, you took that really personally and yes, people are allowed to be choosy. It's called standards. Just because she is a woman doesn't mean everyone wants to bang her.

jlc82 12

Friday 29 May 2026 3:33

spot on Vesi...it's usually the most physically gorgeous people who are the most repulsive

Petit Etre Malfaisant 21

Friday 29 May 2026 10:37

He is a misogynist pig just because he finds a women not attractive? So YOU would have sex with anyone? Even if he/she is physically repulsive or is an absolute AH?