Parenting, Relatable, Awkward Kids Straight to jail

Straight to jail

anon - 15/07/2011 01:51 - United States

Today, my child was refusing to leave the playground. I had to pry her, screaming and crying, from the monkey bars. I then realized I had been assaulting someone else's kid. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Stranger danger!

Anonymous - - Australia

Today, I took my child to the park. Having been there an hour, another mum came up to me and we started talking. She then told me that one kid had been harassing her children, pointing to my child. When she asked which one was mine I pointed to a random kid. It was hers. FML

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You people are twisted!

pledonasm - 15/03/2015 16:11 - India - Thane

Today, I took my son to the playground and watched him have fun. Minutes later, I was being shoved around and called a pedophile because I was there alone with no wife. By the time I convinced them I was innocent, my son was bawling. FML

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lilmamma - 05/11/2010 17:29 - United States

Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML

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The Headmaster Ritual

angry mama - 21/09/2019 00:01

Today, while picking my daughter up from school, I saw her being beaten by two boys while the teacher stood there doing nothing. I ran to help, but then she pushed one of the boys off her. The teacher then pulled her away, yelled at her and then yelled at me for "not raising my kid right." FML

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Anonymous - 15/11/2010 07:26

Today, I volunteered to help out at an elementary school. I accidentally elbowed a little girl in the face while playing tag. And an hour later, a little boy flew out of his swing because I accidentally pushed him too hard. They're both siblings and are my child psychology instructor's kids. FML

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WELL FUCK YOU KINDLY, MA'AM - 18/11/2012 21:22 - United States - Endicott

Today, I had to forcibly separate a boy from my daughter after he grabbed her and started shoving her around. I complained to his mother, only to have her shout, "mind your fucking business" and say that her son can do whatever the hell he wants. FML

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Whack-a-Mole

Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

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Zora - 15/07/2012 23:13 - Norway - Bergen

Today, while shopping, my six-year-old son threw a tantrum because I wouldn't buy him a video game. I ended up having to grab his arm and leave the store. He screamed that I was kidnapping him, at which point I was socked in the face and pinned to the floor by three bystanders. FML

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BaWanda - 30/06/2014 23:39 - United States - San Diego

Today, I smacked my kid on top of the head for spinning the display rack while I was looking at greeting cards. It wasn't until he dramatically screamed and dropped to the floor wailing that I realized he wasn't my daughter. FML

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Brat winter

Single again - 04/01/2026 22:00

Today, my girlfriend's kid was acting silly and cutting up in a busy parking lot. I saw a car coming towards him and yanked him to my side. He started crying and my girlfriend screamed at me for "being mean" to him. I should have let the brat get hit, I guess. If this is the stepdad life, fuck it, I'm out. FML

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jellybeans4833 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

you can't tell the difference between your own child? Sad.

allitaylor 4

Friday 15 July 2011 9:06

bet her parents loved you for that..

smurfsarwales 9

Friday 15 July 2011 12:41

maybe the other parents were watching op's kid 0.o

PandaPi 0

Friday 15 July 2011 12:56

that kid was taught well to not follow strangers.

ChloroformPanda 21

Friday 15 July 2011 13:22

Now to imagine you with twins...

kpsmith 0

Friday 15 July 2011 13:33

You'd be better off dead than parenting.

daminantion 14

Monday 18 July 2011 6:15

haha, said the soldier. I see what you did there.

Seeninbed 1

Friday 15 July 2011 13:39

thts very sad u don't know ur own child

redmnky21 8

Friday 15 July 2011 13:39

wow u truely are too stupid for words... and the prize for the world dumbest mom goes to... dum dum dum... we have a winner ding ding ding!!!

howdmynosego 12

Friday 15 July 2011 13:45

woopd

XxdinoswordxX 0

Friday 15 July 2011 13:45

I bet you still took the kid.

mikechek 3

Friday 15 July 2011 13:55

I guess they all look alike in a gaggle good parenting ftw

mickstisy 3

Friday 15 July 2011 13:56

STRANGER DANGER!

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I told my dad that I was going to sleep over my friend's house this weekend with a few other guys to play Dungeons and Dragons. He responded with, "Oh, back in my day, me and my pals used to pick on the kids who played Dungeons and Dragons." FML

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Today, it was the début of the high school musical I was in. When two others and I sang the word "Hell", my mother yelled at us for using that language, while the musical was still going, and dragged me off stage. FML

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Today, I found out that my partner intentionally acts like she sleeps through our baby's cries in the middle of the night, just to force me to do all the late night feeds and diaper changes. FML

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Today, I got fired via text. The last sentence was, "Wish you the best, take care!" FML

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Today, I was sitting on a bench outside a supermarket waiting to be picked up, when a old lady walked out of the shop. She hadn't noticed me and sat on the bench beside me. She looked around and saw me, rolled her eyes, got up and moved to a different bench. FML

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Today, I had to choke back tears as my cockslap of a brother brutally mocked me for being a 25-year-old loser who's never been kissed by a girl, while at 14 he's already lost his virginity. FML

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