Story of my life... By FML Approved - 30/10/2017 14:30 - United States - New York Slides are difficult for everyone, right? I agree, your life sucks 420 You deserved it 110 Share Tweet Share
Today, I went to a park to relax and read a book. A dog came up and started sniffing me. I tried to shoo it away, but it sat on my lap, and refused to move. His owner came up to me, laughed, and said, "Congratulations, you've been chosen!" as I tried to get rid of the mud all over my thighs. FML I agree, your life sucks 478 You deserved it 171
Today, after I was locked out of my apartment, I went down the leaf-filled ravine behind the building to get to the fire escape ladder, climbed up four stories and over the balcony, then wiggled through the window on my stomach onto the living room floor. Now I'm back inside and paranoid about robbers doing the same. FML I agree, your life sucks 798 You deserved it 226
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML I agree, your life sucks 20 566 You deserved it 64 602
Today, I was sitting on the chair-lift on a ski trip. There was a shift in gears and the metal in the seat began to vibrate. My dad, sister, and step-mom were all on the lift with me, not feeling a thing. It's terribly awkward to converse with your family while you involuntarily orgasm. FML I agree, your life sucks 49 367 You deserved it 6 133
Today, I saw that the man who got me pregnant, and swore that if I kept it he'd run away to Asia, and his new girlfriend announced their pregnancy on social media. They both seem to be very happy. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 236 You deserved it 233
Today, I was asked to babysit for a family that attends the daycare I work at. All of my coworkers warned me that they were rough kids but I shrugged it off. As soon as the parents left, the 7-year-old girl said, "Oh good now I can focus on death and my plans". FML I agree, your life sucks 5 974 You deserved it 836