Sex, Awkward, Ableism and Intimacy: Stop, just stop - FML

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 320

You deserved it 35 538

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Same thing different taste

Slip up

By ooops - 04/08/2012 16:06 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 650

You deserved it 7 311

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 4 056

Curious

By Ghostrui - 15/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 177

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 09/06/2009 08:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 885

You deserved it 5 752

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 155

You deserved it 7 245

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 107

You deserved it 5 090

Oh hell no

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Spicy

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 129

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 307

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 74 107

Next

Top comments

ObellaO 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:36

Quite honestly I appreciate the twisted humor =-)

thecheshirecat_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:48

your dad is kind of awesome =P

Comments

emmame223 4

Wednesday 24 April 2013 13:34

Lol oh wow that's nasty my dad has a prosthetic ewwwww

Viiarla 5

Wednesday 5 June 2013 18:48

I think i know you

jess_wileyy 12

Friday 9 August 2013 12:27

I'd be very disturbed..

nicholasj96 9

Thursday 5 September 2013 12:45

Lol, your parents are assholes .

museerux01 10

Tuesday 10 September 2013 19:51

Lmaooo!!!! you're parents are such creeps xD

xoxkclxox 12

Wednesday 19 February 2014 0:39

Haha my mum said the exact same thing to me about my boyfriend who also has a prosthetic leg!

Han15 4

Friday 4 April 2014 13:20

to be honest how is her dad awesome? he is talking about his daughter sexually. That's foul.

rs7797 9

Saturday 24 May 2014 4:49

well does he ? what.did you.say ?

the_Jessicaaa 11

Saturday 24 May 2014 22:44

i love ur parents llf

iza_fml 17

Tuesday 24 June 2014 8:44

Did anyone else think of the fault I our stars

iza_fml 17

Tuesday 24 June 2014 8:45

In*

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The Top

Today, I was feeling hungry, so I went to the kitchen to get a bowl of cereal. I found hundreds of weevils festering in my Lucky Charms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 891

You deserved it 4 313

Today, at the age of 21, I learned that the phrase, “A stitch in time saves nine” is not about traveling back in time and saving nine people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 774

Today, my friend and I were filming football practice and talking about what guys on the team were attractive and who we would want to get it on with. We didn't realize that the camera was recording everything that we said. The tape was played to the entire team the next day. With sound. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 822

You deserved it 126 961

Today, I bought new earphones for my phone so I could finally listen to music again. Not an hour later I broke it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 165

You deserved it 314

Today, while going through airport security the lady asked why I folded everything so small. I said that I was going away for a month and needed to fit a lot of stuff in only one bag. She smiled, nodded and then dumped my luggage to search for "drugs and other illegal teen things." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 992

You deserved it 3 325

Today, my brother got sick with a stomach bug. He didn’t even quit his game to throw up in the toilet and instead threw up straight on the carpet. It sat there for hours. FML

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You deserved it 161