Sex, Awkward, Ableism and Intimacy: Stop, just stop - FML

Stop, just stop

By Girl123999 - 04/03/2009 23:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was talking to my mom. During the conversation she asked me, "Does he take his leg off when you guys are having sex?" Referring to the guy I've been seeing who has a prosthetic leg. My dad then asked, "Does he spank you with it too if you've been naughty?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 266 320

You deserved it 35 538

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Same thing different taste

Slip up

By ooops - 04/08/2012 16:06 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I went to have dinner with my girlfriend and her family. It got silent, so, noticing her legs were darker than they were a few hours ago, I wanted to ask her if she used tanning lotion. I ended up asking her if her legs were fake. Her dad has prosthetic legs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 650

You deserved it 7 311

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 16:18 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my dad picked me up from school, something he'll be doing while my broken leg heals. He thought it'd be hilarious to arrive early and ask the staff where his "crippled" son was, loudly saying I'd broken my leg in a "masturbation-related accident". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 391

You deserved it 4 056

Curious

By Ghostrui - 15/05/2022 04:00

Spicy

Today, my dad thought it appropriate to ask if my boyfriend, who was in the other room, was circumcised. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 073

You deserved it 177

By maddie - 27/12/2011 05:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were at dinner with his parents when he discreetly slid his hand up my skirt and tickled me. This caused me to kick his dad's recently broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 918

You deserved it 4 994

By Anonymous - 09/06/2009 08:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom walks into my room, with a serious look on her face asks me "When a man is getting it from behind, the man on top orgasms, but what happens to the man on bottom? Do you think he takes care of himself or what?" Hand motions were included. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85 885

You deserved it 5 752

By Nails - 22/02/2009 03:16 - United States

Spicy

Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 154

You deserved it 7 245

By Told_You_So - 09/07/2009 06:33 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in the car with my mom and dad. My mom turned around and asked, "Have you had sex yet?" I said no, which is true. My dad cracked up and said, "Told you so!" My mom frowned, took out her wallet, and handed him $20. My parents bet on my nonexistent sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 107

You deserved it 5 090

Oh hell no

By Anonymous - 27/07/2024 13:00 - United States - Anaheim

Spicy

Today, I was in the "getting to know you" phase of dating a guy I recently met. We were talking about our families and I mentioned my dad died when I was young. He blurted out, “So, we get to have some of that kinky daddy issue sex then, huh?” I’m not sure if he was joking or not but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 602

You deserved it 129

Fight ****

By Anonymous - 11/07/2022 10:00

Spicy

Today, I heard my step-dad hitting my mom, and her begging him to stop, so I grabbed my cricket bat, ran in, and almost brained him. Luckily I stopped in time, because they were both naked having sex. Apparently my mom likes extreme spanking. Eww. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 546

You deserved it 307

The moment when…

By wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 124

You deserved it 74 107

Next

Top comments

ObellaO 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:36

Quite honestly I appreciate the twisted humor =-)

thecheshirecat_fml 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 9:48

your dad is kind of awesome =P

Comments

hbcaligirl 0

Thursday 27 May 2010 13:17

My cousin has a boyfriend--well fiancee now that has a prosthetic leg and lives in Cali. I really hope I didn't just read a sex FML from my cousin.

espania97 0

Saturday 5 June 2010 6:42

at least ur parents r ok with it...

Black_Magic87 0

Tuesday 8 June 2010 15:36

That's funny

blasticks 0

Friday 11 June 2010 2:48

well, does he?

cmart822331 0

Tuesday 15 June 2010 13:52

well does he?

sucks4ulol 0

Saturday 10 July 2010 22:34

o m g your parents are awesome

head2133 12

Sunday 15 August 2010 7:21

lol

tinman430 0

Wednesday 18 August 2010 7:01

I don't know about you guys but that dad is funny as hell! everyone who agrees with the chick who posted this, lighten the **** up!

VictimsOfTheDown 0

Thursday 19 August 2010 0:03

well, does he?

SenoraC 0

Sunday 22 August 2010 22:05

I'd be pissed if he insulted my boyfriend though. It's not like he can actually help having a prosthetic leg.

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The Top

Today, I came home to find that my room had been ransacked. My mom comes out of nowhere and says that we need to have a talk. I freaked out thinking it was all the empty alcohol bottles under my bed. My mom holds up the birth control and says, "I always knew you were a whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 676

You deserved it 19 456

Today, I was at the gym running with intensity on the treadmill. As I was working out, I noticed a few guys behind me staring at me. I figured they were checking me out because I was losing some weight and looking better. Turns out they were betting on how much longer "Fat Ass" could last. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 199

You deserved it 6 649

Today, my 3-year-old missed the toilet. In the time it took me to get paper towel to clean it up, my one-year-old decided it was the perfect puddle to play in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 207

You deserved it 612

Today, I came home and was greeted by my dad telling me that he pawned my guitar for gas money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 774

You deserved it 2 612

Today, I woke up at 5 and studied for my 9:30am exam for 4 hours. When I left my dorm at 9, it was dark outside. Turns out I slept through the entire day and woke up at 5pm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 134

You deserved it 30 534

Today, at a Dollar Store today with my roommate (I'm 31, my roommate is 32) where some guy stalked us all through the store, and even waited outside the store for us. I had to resort to pretending the Uber driver was my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 103