Health Sorry, little dude

Sorry, little dude

dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

what if I'm being eaten from the inside out? oh my god - 05/04/2013 18:51 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, I took an incredibly painful dump. After I cleaned myself up, I got up and was about to flush, until I saw something moving around in one of the logs of poop. It looked like an earthworm. It wasn't there when I sat down. FML

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Freakout

DisgustingCreatures - 04/08/2016 18:53 - United States - Houston

Today, I was peacefully using the toilet when I heard a familiar crunching sound behind me. After shooting up and frantically looking around, I hesitantly closed the toilet lid - just in time to see a black cockroach slip into a crevice of the toilet. The thing was close enough to go up my butt. FML

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Anonymous - 21/12/2013 21:50 - United States - Wexford

Today, I thought it was a good idea to flush the stink bug I found in my kitchen. Later I went in the bathroom to take a crap, and next thing I know, I feel a stink bug on my privates. I guess it didn't flush after all. FML

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no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

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Anonymous - 31/10/2009 19:40 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML

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Cringe

mikesok988 - 07/05/2009 07:40 - United States

Today, there was a potluck at my girlfriend's house. I had a sour stomach, so I went to the bathroom to relieve myself. When I flushed, nothing happened. They had to call a plumber to fix the toilet filled with my crap. The whole family watched, noses plugged and faces cringed, looking at me. FML

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Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

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lingadoo - 07/12/2012 05:46 - Kuwait - Kuwait

Today, I thought I felt something itch my butt as I sat down on the toilet. Sure it was just my imagination, I did my business. When I was done I saw there were 4 cockroaches crawling under the seat. FML

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Sarah-grace - 17/05/2016 22:20 - United States - Benton

Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML

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buys case of Listerine

Sick Guy - 24/03/2018 20:30 - United States - Boynton Beach

Today, I wasn't feeling well at work. While I was in the bathroom losing my lunch, a very large piece of food came up. The resulting splash of toilet water went straight up into my mouth. FML

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SSJ5Goku 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:08

...Which would you prefer?

TripleJumpMan 0

Saturday 16 January 2010 23:08

what the hell

Fody13 2

Wednesday 16 June 2010 4:34

haha that's ******* hilarious

ohman_this_sucks 0

Tuesday 6 July 2010 18:03

Didn't Mythbusters test whether or not a roach could survive nuclear radiation? Seems to me they can't, that fruitflies or something survive longer than the roaches. Not sure you could convince Kari to eat a roach and film her taking a shit to bust this myth... :P

crazy_lil_thing 0

Thursday 8 July 2010 6:24

omfg. wow.

texasjalapeno_fml 0

Monday 9 August 2010 15:00

maybe it came with the shit

TheODBkid 0

Thursday 18 November 2010 0:17

116- lmao!

zebrapattern 6

Sunday 12 December 2010 15:18

okay... that's probably why you weren't feeling well.

KRYPTON1T3 5

Wednesday 9 February 2011 6:46

oh god!

seb_fml 4

Wednesday 20 April 2011 5:37

knapp he called it "dire rear"

TheBananaTheif 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 9:27

why do you think it's called a cockroach?

chesebro47 0

Sunday 24 April 2011 7:05

Oh my gosh this made me laugh SO HARD. I'm just imagining some guy ******** on the toilet, then a mountain of poop in the toilet with a little bug struggling through it. Oh man, this made my day.