QUIET! - FML

QUIET!

By Janey - 17/12/2025 09:00

Today, I snuck a snack into a library study hall. One tiny crinkle of the wrapper and every head turned like I’d detonated a siren. I tried to nibble silently, misjudged the crunch, dropped the pack, and it performed an encore. The professor glared at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 187

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Same thing different taste

Explosive

By Lolo - 25/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I went to the library to study an upcoming exam. I sat in a quiet corner and was feeling focused. Suddenly, I sneezed so loudly that the entire library went silent. I could feel the stares of every student on me as I tried to pretend I didn’t just disrupt the entire study session. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 140

Hush hush

By Louis - 02/09/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I went to sneakily grab a snack without waking up my roommate. I was being extra quiet, tiptoeing like a ninja. I opened the fridge door slowly, but managed to knock over a stack of Tupperware boxes. The crash was so loud it could’ve woken the dead. My roommate appeared in the doorway, not amused. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 248

Busted!

By Anonymous - 05/07/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I was secretly snacking on my roommate’s chips. I heard her coming, so I shoved the chips under my bed and pretended to read. She came in, sniffed the air, and said, "I know you stole my chips. The evidence is on your face." I had orange cheese dust all over my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 1 202

Do not feed the workers

By Kellz - 20/07/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, at work, I tried to sneakily open a bag of chips I had hidden in my desk drawer. The bag decided to explode as soon as I tore it open, sending chips flying everywhere. My boss chose that exact moment to walk by and saw me on the floor, frantically picking up chips. FML

I agree, your life sucks 172

You deserved it 426

Classic backfire

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 04:00

Today, I was in a quiet library, trying to stifle a sneeze. In the process, I let out an embarrassingly loud and dramatic snort that echoed through the room. Heads turned. Many stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 554

You deserved it 176

Movie night

By Boo! - 14/12/2025 03:00

Today, I tried to sneak a burrito into a movie theater by hiding it in my jacket. Halfway through the trailers, the foil popped loudly, and the burrito slid out and rolled down the sloped aisle like a tiny log. The theater lights were still on, people turned to watch, so I pretended it wasn’t mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 478

Sorry guys, please don't hurt me

By Anonymous - 11/12/2024 09:00 - United States - Eugene

Today, I tried to sneak a snack from the kitchen without waking anyone up. In my stealthy quest for a late night sandwich, I managed to knock over a stack of pots of pans and woke up the entire frat house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 452

NO SNACKS

By face - 25/03/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, my friends decided that I eat too many snacks. To emphasize this point, they went behind my back and printed 300 pages with my face and the words "NO SNACKS" on them. They were posted in every academic building on campus, including every room I have class in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 279

You deserved it 10 699

This is fine

By Anonymous - 14/08/2024 22:00 - Australia - Darwin

Today, during a silent exam, my stomach made the loudest, most embarrassing growling noise possible. It was so loud that the professor looked up and some people in the room turned to look at me. The girl next to me offered me a granola bar, and I accepted, even though the growl was actually me desperately holding in a fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 114

Quiet!

By faaail - 24/03/2015 16:51 - Ireland - Cork

Today, while studying for a big test at the library, some idiots started playing hide-and-seek. After putting up with their snorting and giggling for nearly an hour, I finally lost my shit and told them to knock it off. I then got kicked out for causing a disturbance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 882

You deserved it 3 999

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GoogieWithers 23

Wednesday 17 December 2025 14:11

Why wouldn't you sneak in food that was silent? A banana,a brownie or dried fruit?

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Today, my cousin tried to hit on me. I told him that was inappropriate and pushed him off me. He was offended when I went to tell my folks. All they said was, “That’s fine. You should’ve let him.” Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 248

You deserved it 108

Today, I felt really depressed so I decided to go to McDonald's, get a sundae and cheer myself up. I got pulled over by the cops on the way, and was given a ticket for an expired registration. McDonald's was closed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 071

You deserved it 13 045

Today, I turned on the news to see a live report about an increase in crime in my town. One minute in, my drunk daughter appears behind the news reporter, butt naked, dancing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 303

You deserved it 6 788

Today, my professor told everyone that he thinks all med students should be required to get a catheter and an enema at least once in their lives so they can relate to their patients, saying, "Gentlemen, it might change your lives." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 309

You deserved it 7 325

Today, I got home from visiting family for 4 days. Before leaving, I had cleaned my whole apartment and done all of my laundry, except the clothes I worked in the day I left. By the time I got back, ants had set up a colony in said clothes and my laundry hamper. I even found some in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 365

You deserved it 441

Today, I had an elaborate plan to ask this girl to Prom, and it was going to take a few minutes to set up. I asked my friend to distract her. He decided to distract her by asking her to Prom. She said "Yes". FML

I agree, your life sucks 281 349

You deserved it 47 598