Intimacy Outdoorsy

Outdoorsy

Anonymous - 22/03/2012 03:21 - United States - London

Today, I found out that sex in the woods is amazing. I also found that the roar of a nearby bear will end the amazement. Not only was I cockblocked by a bear, I almost shit myself. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Camping out

Baggabbles123 - 08/06/2009 23:24 - Canada

Today, I was camping. Me and this really cute girl were hitting it off real nice. It was the last night so we both headed over to my tent to have sex. I was just about to get it in when a raccoon ripped my tent, causing the girl to scream and run away. I got cockblocked by a raccoon. FML

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Lucky escape

Anonymous - 27/11/2025 12:00

Today, I went camping with my girlfriend and another couple. We saw a black bear. I shrieked and peed, while the other guy stepped forward and yelled, "Get outta here!" To my surprise, it ran away. My girlfriend is so ashamed of me that she's refusing to share a tent. I'm sleeping in my truck bed. FML

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Close call

Anonymous - 09/11/2023 06:00 - Canada

Today, I went on a relaxing nature hike to de-stress. I got lost for hours, encountered a bear, and had to play dead, only for the bear to steal my sandwich then sit there for hours before finally leaving. FML

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Bear with me

bear food - 08/01/2014 04:37 - United States - Anaheim

Today, my friends and I went camping in the woods. I fell asleep first. Waking up hours later to them bunched up together in the middle of the tent and me half-way outside, I confronted them about it. They admitted, "We heard a bear so we needed a sacrifice." FML

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Anonymous - 05/11/2010 21:09 - United Kingdom

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

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What happens in the woods stays in the woods

sulfuric_acid - 10/08/2021 06:01 - Canada

Today, on Facebook, I noticed my friend had posted a picture entitled, "Does a bear shit in the woods?" Curious, I checked it out and discovered that while on our hunting trip, my friends took a picture of me, pants around my ankles, leaned up against a tree taking a dump. FML

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Noname - 14/03/2009 05:08 - United States

Today, I came back from a hike to see my trailer rocking, as well as some strange but obvious noises coming from it. I went camping alone. Two strangers were in my camper having sex. FML

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poisonivyretard - 04/06/2013 17:15 - United States - Narragansett

Today, I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However, I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets are attacking my ass-crack. FML

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Out in the wild

Welpthatwasfast - 10/06/2016 07:57

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to mix it up and find a good place outdoors to have fun. After an hour of climbing up a rocky mountainside to a completely isolated clearing, out of the way of any hiking path, he was still so paranoid that he finished within 20 seconds. FML

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Anonymous - 04/04/2015 12:53 - United States

Today, while at the zoo with my boyfriend, he pointed at the howling gorillas and shouted over to me: "Hah! That's what you sound like in bed!" FML

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beccaishereyay 11

Thursday 22 March 2012 8:46

Doesn't matter, had sex

mama2b3 20

Thursday 22 March 2012 8:49

Pussy. A real man woulda asked the bear to join, then made it his bitch!

icey0796 6

Thursday 22 March 2012 13:52

Bears. Beets. Battle-Star Galactica.

RedCamaro10 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 14:43

Bear says: "Hey! You can't do that in my yard!"

nathantcash 0

Thursday 22 March 2012 15:09

I've had sex while camping before. It was ******* In Tents!

redcan3 5

Thursday 22 March 2012 15:38

This is fake. Bears don't roar.

james3458 3

Thursday 22 March 2012 15:45

so I was with my girlfriend in the woods and I was going to totally bone her but then a bear showed up and she said there was noooo way...

FalconCrunch 4

Thursday 22 March 2012 16:06

Only in Kentucky.

bikerchick1990 4

Thursday 22 March 2012 16:10

Dang! My bf, brother and my brothers friends are going to Colorado this weekend does that mean no sex with my bf out in the woods?

RedPillSucks 31

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:38

Did the bear have binoculars and a van with a "free candy" sign painted on it?

klovemachine 24

Thursday 22 March 2012 18:48

Doesn't matter had sex;)

jackeechan 10

Thursday 22 March 2012 20:51

That disturbs me

Miscellaneous My ex Stalker Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I have to choose between one eyebrow or none because I'm a heavy sleeper and my brother is a moron. FML

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Today, my wife tried to be sexy by climbing on top of me wearing nothing but a thong. Unfortunately, her knee came down in just the wrong spot and I passed out instantly from the pain of my testicle rupturing. I'm in hospital now recovering from the removal surgery. FML

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Today, I finally managed to get through to the radio station that I always listen to. I handed the phone to my dad so he could win the prize for me, because I'm under 18. He hung up because he thought it was a prank call. FML

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Today, I have an eight hour transatlantic flight and the person sitting next to me has already filled his third sick bag. This wouldn't be quite so bad were we not still at the terminal with passengers still boarding the plane. FML

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Today, my coworker, who I hardly ever speak to, gave me a birthday present. It was an 8,000-word extremely graphic story of how he convinced a lesbian to have anal sex with him in the work bathroom. She had my name and characteristics. I'm the only lesbian he knows. FML

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Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

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