Sex, Injury Intimacy New isn't always good

New isn't always good

anonymous - 11/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Iowa City

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
Celebrate with stories where tradition and humor meet for a colorful Chinese New Year. …

Performance

bob - 29/06/2012 08:47 - United States - Santa Cruz

Today, I learned that I do not possess the upper body, core, or leg strength to hold my girlfriend up during sex. I simultaneously collapsed and dropped her onto her coffee table. We are now both being treated at the hospital; her for glass wounds, me for a concussion. FML

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Dockin - 14/02/2019 15:37 - India

Today, I slashed my ass open with a shard of glass. How? I was making out with my crush, and threw my glasses on the ground. I forgot about them when we decided to lie down. FML

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Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

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Time to run

Anonymous - 24/06/2024 17:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend smashed a glass in my face. When I went to the hospital, the first thing the nurse did was ask what I did to upset her, and then muttered that she hoped I'd learned a lesson. FML

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ouch - 26/06/2010 14:23 - Canada

Today, my friend hit a glass with her arm, so I dove to try and catch it before it hit the ground and shattered. I hit my head against the table, giving me a nice gash that needed stitches. The glass was actually plastic. FML

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Crash

Anonymous - 29/05/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend and I tried to have sex in the shower. While trying to support her weight, as we got into things, I slipped backwards on the wet floor and fell through the Pyrex side of the shower, with her crashing down on me. I now have bits of Pyrex in my back and have to replace the shower side. FML

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It's just a flesh wound!

manhandled - 01/02/2012 18:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate. He picked me up and threw me over his shoulder to take me to his room. He wasn't careful enough, and dropped me right on my head, on the hardwood floor. I ended up vomiting and came down with a headache. He still wanted to have sex. FML

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Caution - 02/10/2018 22:00

Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML

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Life imitates bad art

sex sent me to the Er - 15/10/2019 14:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Feeling goofy, I thought it’d be funny to try to reenact that horrible sex scene from the movie Showgirls. I threw my body back, but completely lost my balance and smashed my head on the headboard. I ended up with a bad concussion and a huge hospital bill. FML

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Clumsy Clumsy - 16/04/2016 16:27 - Canada - Spruce Grove

Today, I ran up to my boyfriend to kiss him when he got home from work. I tripped and I fell on him, and he fell backwards. He ended up hitting his head on the sidewalk and had to get stitches. He also had a concussion. FML

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ktm71125 19

Monday 12 January 2015 6:22

Thanks for the tip. On another note what on Earth made you think having sex on a glass table was a good idea. FYL

Chiroptera_Man 10

Monday 12 January 2015 6:20

Talk about rough sex.

potionowl 25

Monday 12 January 2015 14:06

I really don't think that's how double penetration is supposed to work...

HeWillBeLoved105 22

Monday 12 January 2015 15:15

Sex sent me to the ER. ?? Sorry OP. You kind of deserve it though.

GunSlinger69 19

Monday 12 January 2015 15:58

Oh snap, OP, I was planning to do that. Sounds so comfortable and like such a great idea, thanks for the heads up!

Sevvr27 1

Monday 12 January 2015 17:01

Well stop being fat then

Oblivion239 21

Monday 12 January 2015 18:03

I think we all want to know what brought you and your girlfriend to think of this

caterinette 12

Monday 12 January 2015 18:35

Caution: slippery when wet.

Genea 8

Monday 12 January 2015 19:45

That was kinda stupid but but take care of those war wounds!

BLEED_MY_SOUL_07 9

Monday 12 January 2015 19:51

What were you thinking?

ladytigerhunts 20

Monday 12 January 2015 20:07

"Sex brought me to ER"

nialls_girl 13

Monday 12 January 2015 20:10

That's a big YDI.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I broke up with the guy I've been dating for 6 months. His response was to destroy my $200 Japanese chef knife. I'm an apprentice cook and that knife means the world to me. FML

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Today, my father-in-law confessed during dinner that he watched me and my wife have sex that morning through the window. He even more awkwardly brought it back up later that evening to say I seemed very good at it, and tried asking for details about me and my wife’s sex life. FML

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Today, after I bought my house, my dad forced me to do all the DIY with him because I needed to know how to do it myself, but my sister just bought her house and not only did dad hire tradesmen to do a lot of the work, he forced me to do a lot of it as well. Never before have I wished I was a girl too. FML

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Today, a customer spent ages bitching me out, because he refused to believe he needed to upgrade his computer, which still runs Windows 98, in order to install a modern game for his grandson. He ended up calling my manager and trying to get me fired for scamming him. FML

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Today, I was riding my bike on a sunny but windy afternoon. Coming up to an intersection, the wind switched directions and my wig blew off and landed in the middle of the road. At this point, I was almost at the other side but I had to turn around and grab my hair before the light turned green. FML

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Today, I had a party at my house. I have a nice laptop that I hook up to the stereo, but someone almost spilt beer on it, so I took it downstairs. Later on in the night, I went down to look something up on it. Someone had taken a shit on it. FML

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