Today, after being at summer camp for two weeks, my parents never showed up to take me home. A counselor had to drive me. FML
Today, my youngest son, for the third time, decided that the toilet is not where he wants to go to the bathroom. This wouldn't be an issue if he wasn't also squatting in the yard to take a dump. FML
Today, I started to fill out a job application online, with age being one of the first things I put in. After half an hour and 40 questions, I hit submit. I was then told that I wasn't old enough to apply. FML
Today, my son told me he and his ex deliberately got pregnant, despite being broken up, because she wanted a baby, he wanted sex, and she promised she wouldn’t ask him for child support. She must have had her fingers crossed because his court date is next week. Moron. FML
Today, for the first time in a while I decided to wear a skirt. Everytime I sit down my thighs trap air and make a farting sound. FML
Today, based on the significant time I spend at work, my phone is automatically labeling my work destination as my home destination and my home destination as my workplace. FML
Today, I was trying to back up my messaging information on an app so if it ever got deleted I wouldn’t lose all my information. It ended up glitching out and erasing all my contacts and messages. Now I can’t even message back the guy I like that I’m not ignoring him. There goes that relationship. FML
Well, you could have talked with him on the way home if he was a cool counselor.
OP should have ran away and joined the circus. With the money that he would have earned by working at the circus they could have hired a professional hitman, who then could have killed OP's parents. ....atleast that's what I would have done.