Today, I went up to a girl at a bus stop and started chatting her up. Her response? "Am I being robbed?" FML
Today, I've been sick with both a chest cold and a sore throat. As a result, I've also been dehydrated, causing me to have a headache. Whenever I cough, I feel like my throat is being ripped apart and my head is about to explode. FML
Today, my landlord asked me to get rid of the flower boxes I have at the window in the stairwell. Why? Because they are disgusting. Why are they disgusting? Because his cat keeps using them as a litter box. FML
Today, I tried to study for my upcoming engineering exam. The class I’m in is notorious for being incredibly difficult and is oftentimes the reason for people dropping out of the major. Too bad the dudes in the apartment next to me have a subwoofer and keep playing music that has way too much bass. FML
Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML
Today, my neighbours knocked to complain about the noise. I have been nursing a headache for the past several weeks while they have been slamming doors and arguing. FML
Today, I bought some mandarins so that there would be at least one healthy thing in my shopping basket, and I wouldn’t feel like such a fat lard at the checkout. FML
That's when you pull your penis out.
what we have here, is failure, to communicate.