Just Hanging On By FML Approved - 20/10/2017 20:30 It'll get better. Eventually. I agree, your life sucks 402 You deserved it 108 Share Tweet Share
Today, after fasting for 24 hours and drinking 2 buckets of laxatives, my doctor's office notified me that my colonoscopy had been cancelled. I'd just finished the prep by taking the fart pills, and now have the cleanest colon ever. A lot of time spent on the toilet that I’ll never get back though. FML I agree, your life sucks 1 076 You deserved it 125
Today, I wanted to surprise my partner by leaving a love letter on his car's windshield while he was at work. He texted me later saying, “You know you left that on my coworker’s car, right?” Now some stranger thinks I want to “snuggle forever.” FML I agree, your life sucks 109 You deserved it 397
Today, I made love to my girlfriend. I penetrated her for a while, then stopped to get my breath back... She carried on moaning even though I'd stopped moving. FML I agree, your life sucks 46 215 You deserved it 8 682
Today, my girlfriend of a year and I had sex for the first time in several weeks due to relationship problems; I came in less than 10 seconds. We're still having problems. FML I agree, your life sucks 25 714 You deserved it 29 902
Today, when the power went out, my wife said it was too bad we couldn't have sex by candlelight since she had just started her period. The only time she brings up sex is when we can't do it. FML I agree, your life sucks 21 615 You deserved it 1 748
Today, my son told me he was afraid of monsters under his bed. When I poked my head under to show him nothing was there, the family cat sprang out and clawed me in the face. Now I have a gash on my chin, and my son refuses to go anywhere near his bed. FML I agree, your life sucks 37 133 You deserved it 3 836
If that was my kid, I'd tell him to get up and walk.