Embarrassing Health If I fits, I sits - FML

If I fits, I sits

fatlady - 07/03/2010 05:41 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to the park. I bet my friend I could fit into the swing that was sized for toddlers. I managed to fit in, but I couldn't get out. My friend had to call 911 to get me out. When they finally did, the fireman told me that fat ladies shouldn't try stuff like that. FML

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Chinese New Year: Dragons and Laughter
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Anonymous - 27/02/2010 03:01 - United States

Today, I went to the park with my friend and we decided to swing. While we were swinging, we decided to jump off backwards. All would have worked out fine if my pants hadn't gotten caught on the metal of the swing, leaving my bare butt exposed. The man who was in the park with his daughter left. FML

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BabyButt - 09/04/2014 17:50 - United States - Honolulu

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend to our local park, and I playfully climbed into one of the baby swings. I planned on having him push me, not getting stuck and having to be cut free from the seat while he laughed. FML

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Bounce off

clumsy girl - 25/09/2023 12:30 - United States - Austin

Today, I embraced my inner child and went to a trampoline park with friends. I was having a blast until I attempted a somersault and ended up bouncing right into a group of screaming toddlers. I was escorted out by a concerned parent. FML

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Sorry, but…

Anonymous - 28/07/2019 14:00

Today, I was at a waterpark with my friends, waiting in line for about 45 minutes to go on the biggest ride there. When it was finally our turn, the lifeguard at the top pulled me over and measured me to see if I was tall enough. I wasn't. FML

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Apple - 12/06/2011 17:54 - United States

Today, I was at my friend's house, and I asked if I could try on one of her dresses. It was a little snug, but I got it on. When it came time to take it off though, it wouldn't budge. My friend and her mom had to cut it off me. FML

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bathroomseww - 12/05/2009 07:19 - United States

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

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xxxdwangelaxxx - 18/04/2009 21:08 - United States

Today, I went swinging with my friend at the park. Seeing a few cute guys playing basketball, I tried to act cute, laughing loudly and letting my hair fly all over the place. Just as they look over the swing broke. I fell on my face, my jeans sliding down, mooning them. They laughed hysterically. FML

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warp_routine - 31/03/2009 14:17 - United States

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

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Supportive

short&stout - 26/08/2017 20:00

Today, I took the kids to the pool. I'm short and 20lbs overweight but they talked me into it and I put on a swimsuit for the first time in 10 years. As soon as we got there, a girl my height but a good 150lbs heavier said, "It's so nice to see another big girl in a two-piece!" FML

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Get out of my way!

ow my kidneys - - Germany - Bad Oeynhausen

Today, I went down a water slide. Halfway through, I got stuck behind some kids who were blocking the tube. Seconds later, a big-boned lady crashed into my back. Her solution to break the blockade was to start kicking my back repeatedly as hard as she could. The kids still wouldn't move. FML

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Aurik 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:33

Congratulations! Good job wasting taxpayers money! Put down the cheesecake and smarten up.

lionandthelamb61 9

Sunday 7 March 2010 12:30

911? they have better things to do than un- wedge fat asses from toddler swings. idiot

thenumberblue 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:11

I think they need to make really big kid swings for retarded people like her.

thenumberblue 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:16

mike, idk what u were reading, but she wasn't stuck in a "sliid".

buttonface 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:23

Muffintop

buttonface 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 22:30

@32: loooool.

drugsandhugs 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 23:13

why did you sit in a toddler swing if you're fat

blademaster23 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 23:14

lol u fat whale

aaron084 0

Sunday 7 March 2010 23:44

I would have paid to see that. I think I would have pissed myself I would have laughed that hard.

Harrior3004 0

Monday 8 March 2010 0:20

your fat!!! holly cow!!! but I don't believe this fml

SupaSteveXpz 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:04

wow firemen are mean now

S_T_F_U 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:48

"Sized for toddlers." You said it yourself.

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I had to break up with a friend who I couldn't tolerate as a boyfriend. I don't know if the reason was physical unattractiveness, bad body odour, or a forced relationship. The reason I said yes was I didn't want to lose a friend at workplace. I don't know why I had an aversion from him as a boyfriend. I hated it. FML

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Today, after a day spent together, the police came to my girlfriend's place, telling me to leave without explanation. I'm now at a hotel, discovering she made false, negative statements about me in papers they provided. Despite recent love and commitment, it seems she wants to break up, leaving me confused and alone. FML

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Today, I realized the reason my neighbor keeps smiling awkwardly at me is because I’ve been waving enthusiastically at their security camera every morning, thinking it was a motion-activated light. FML

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Today, I’ve suffered my whole life with a bunch of genetic conditions and I found out why at my dad's funeral. A bunch of relatives from America attended and one of them secretly told me my parents emigrated to England under a cloud of shame because they were brother and sister. I’m inbred. FML

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Today, I woke up and remembered that I'm in law school. Now, I'm about to go to sleep, and I'm still in law school. FML

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Today, I had the absolute pleasure of introducing my Karen boss to a Karen customer. The screaming lasted over an hour and I filmed the whole damn thing for laughs. She then docked my pay for not working for that hour, but damn was it worth it. FML

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