Love, Food, Dating and Restaurants: I'm on fire - FML

I'm on fire

By Jyocka - 26/04/2011 22:25 - Canada

Today, on a first date, I finished eating my sushi, feeling proud to have managed chopsticks so elegantly and then rubbed my eye, oblivious to the fact I had just touched some wasabi. What followed was a classy exhibition on how to jump around screeching in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 297

You deserved it 27 141

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Same thing different taste

By John_Elvis - 09/04/2016 03:30 - United States - Valparaiso

Today, I took a girl to a sushi restaurant for our first date. She insisted she's had sushi before, but I had to watch her struggle with the chopsticks for a few minutes before mercifully asking the waitress for a fork. She then ate a fork full of wasabi, thinking it was guacamole. I think there won't be a second date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 385

You deserved it 3 523

By halfie - 26/09/2015 05:06 - United States - Pigeon Forge

Today, while on my first ever date, I ordered a really hot curry, hoping to impress my date. "Yeah," I said smoothly, "not everyone can handle spicy food." When I took a bite, my eyes watered, my mouth burned, and I had to plead for water in between moaning like a dying baboon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 518

You deserved it 33 524

Impressive, dude

By Anonymous - 06/02/2023 15:00

Today, I was on a first date at high-end Indian restaurant. I tried to impress my date by ordering the spiciest dish on the menu, only to find out it was way too hot for me to handle. I ruined the entire meal by coughing, choking, and drinking five gallons of water with tears streaming down my face for at least 40 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 143

You deserved it 2 010

Klutz

By Sara - 27/05/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Blackpool

Today, I went on a date with someone I really like. Midway through dinner, I felt something stuck in my teeth and, trying to be discreet, attempted to remove it. In the process, I flicked a piece of food across the table and it landed in his drink. He looked at it, then at me, then sighed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 163

Classic move

By Anonymous - 25/01/2025 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I was on a date and tried to act seductive and mysterious by slowly sipping my drink while making eye contact with him. I misjudged the straw’s length and location and ended up poking myself in the eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 533

No third base for you

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 14:00 - United Kingdom - Wakefield

Today, I went to a restaurant for a second date. As we were eating, a piece of food got stuck in my teeth. I tried to discreetly remove it, but ended up spitting it across the table and onto my date's glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 278

That went well

By Anonymous - 14/06/2025 22:00 - United States

Today, I was on a first date and tried to playfully flick a fry at him. It missed, hit a waiter in the face, and he dropped an entire tray of drinks onto an elderly couple. My date laughed, then excused himself to the bathroom… and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 654

Mortified

By Nathalieeeee - 10/08/2025 20:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I went on a first date at an Italian restaurant. I was leaning in as my date told a story when my fork snapped a meatball in half. The sauce launched across the table and landed directly on his shirt, meat red against crisp white. I spent the rest of the meal staring at the stain, so I'm not sure there will be a date two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 113

NEXT!

By Kristie - 03/07/2024 12:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a blind date. Everything was going great until I laughed so hard at one of his jokes that I snorted, choked on my drink, and accidentally slapped his face while trying to cover my mouth. We didn't order dessert. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 183

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 408

Next

Top comments

Nbarbosa 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:46

yay, Wasaaaaaabii!!!!! (Annoying orange =D)

allmidnighteyes 10

Wednesday 27 April 2011 9:08

You sure know how to spice things up.

Comments

FluffyWizdom 15

Wednesday 3 April 2013 12:50

why would you jump around ? nottttt going to help your image

aceslutty 3

Wednesday 13 November 2013 2:00

I did the same thing with a jabenero pepper.

HerpNdurp88 0

Wednesday 30 September 2015 18:13

That wasn't wasabi... Just sayin

LordOfCheese 10

Thursday 17 March 2016 22:11

Should have played it off as a joke and hopefully your date had a since of humor

lucasj23 11

Sunday 24 June 2018 6:50

you just stated you had used the chopsticks so I'm not sure why you were touching the food.

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I agree, your life sucks 54 174

You deserved it 4 586

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You deserved it 3 275

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I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 95