Animals, Relatable, Awkward Intimacy I LOVED THAT LITTLE GUY - FML

I LOVED THAT LITTLE GUY

Anonymous - 30/05/2012 05:46 - United States - San Diego

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

cfaul001 - 29/02/2012 17:41 - United States

Today, I got extremely wasted and decided to take a shower with my boyfriend. What seemed like a good and sexy idea turned into us falling and getting wedged in the bathtub. FML

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Partied out

kp. - 31/08/2010 12:46 - Australia

Today, it was my boyfriend's birthday. After spending a reasonable amount of cash to get us a nice hotel room to celebrate, he decides he would rather spend the night drinking with his friends. They all threw up in the bath tub before passing out on our bed. FML

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Anonymous - 08/01/2011 20:15 - Netherlands

Today, I called my boyfriend for a romantic night at home. I put on my hottest little dress, dimmed the lights, and put music on. My boyfriend stumbled in much later, drunk, and took one look at me before throwing up on my feet. FML

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Mood ruined

InterestingReaction - 10/04/2022 04:00

Today, it was mine and my girlfriend's two-year anniversary. Back in my room, I decided to get sexy for her by opening the bathroom door, dropping my bath towel, and slowly approaching the bed in the buff. I tripped over my feet and fell flat on my face twice while doing so, which she hysterically laughed at. FML

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TheMissMuffly - 31/07/2012 15:53 - United States - Monmouth

Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML

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Big night

mybad7 - 15/09/2009 08:13 - Australia

Today, I finally decided to sleep with my boyfriend. It was my first time and I was really nervous so when he was being all romantic with candles and wine I went a bit overboard and drank too much. I passed out. I woke up a few hours later, still a virgin, and in a puddle of my own piss. FML

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Treat yourself

Terri - 08/11/2024 22:00 - Australia

Today, in order to have a nice relaxing bubble bath, I lit candles, played soothing music, and poured myself a glass of wine. Just as I was about to get in, I slipped on a patch of wet floor, dumped the wine on myself, and fell backward into the tub… that didn't have any water in it. Now I’m soaked in wine and bruised. FML

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Come together, right now

Anonymous - 15/04/2023 13:00 - Canada - Stratford

Today, it's my birthday, and I had one to many and my best friend and my boyfriend had to take me home. We went back to my apartment and all squeezed together in my bed. During the night I got sick and spent the rest of the night on the bathroom floor. Later I found out that they'd fucked in my bed. FML

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Date grape

Anonymous - 05/09/2019 08:02 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my boyfriend and I were drinking wine naked after sex. He went to get another glass, but on the way back tripped and fell flat on his face. His roommate unexpectedly came home, saw him face-down on the floor, thought I'd drugged him and tackled me before I could explain. FML

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Don't you want me baby?

Ugh - 05/12/2024 21:00 - Romania

Today, I was dead tired and just wanted sleep, so I jumped into bed the second the day's chores were done. Of fucking course, this was the day my fiancée decided to end our eight-week dry spell and came in wearing sexy lingerie. I couldn't stay hard due to exhaustion, and now she's been crying. FML

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rotflqtms_ 21

Wednesday 30 May 2012 12:05

Wow, how romantic... Dead pets and crying...

KBeatz 5

Wednesday 30 May 2012 12:08

OP: "Now that I see you naked, it reminds me of my dead dog!" T_T

BigSexy123 11

Wednesday 30 May 2012 18:02

Awwwwhhh. That's actually kinda cute, in a weird, twisted way xD

groupleader 7

Wednesday 30 May 2012 18:19

Doesn't matter...had a birthday.

brookayyy 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 18:24

You must have not been that drunk if you can remember it.

your_face 15

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:24

Not everyone blacks out when they get drunk. I've gotten pretty drunk but almost always remember the night the next day.

Calyx_fml 21

Wednesday 30 May 2012 18:35

You should have stuck your finger in his butt.

doglover569 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 19:44

Wrong FML dude...

MsAnnabelle 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 18:45

Ah, l'amour.

wsjoop1119 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 19:26

Wondering how this story went

edhere4u2nv 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 20:11

Lmao that's cute

jonnyroscoe 3

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:33

I wanna party with you two...

hurrican_fml 0

Wednesday 30 May 2012 22:49

Happy birthday!

skodizle29 7

Wednesday 30 May 2012 23:25

That's love :)

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Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Pokémon Awkward Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Suspicious Sex Intimacy Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, my mom wanted to send me a picture of me at graduation, saying that I looked pretty in it. It was a picture of a different girl; definitely not me. Way to go, mom. FML

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Today, I asked students to identify a woman that made a difference in history. I got several people answering Martin Luther King Jr. These are 9th graders. FML

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Today, it was my first day teaching economics to a university class of 150. For the first 5 minutes, a bunch of students snickered. I asked why. One said, "Your zipper's open, but it doesn't matter because your blue panties are showing through your white pants anyway." FML

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Today, I was released from hospital after being in a car accident. I used the phone book to call people I know to get a ride home, as my wallet and cellphone were still in the wrecked car. I had called my mom to come get me, but her response was "I don't feel like it." I live with her. FML

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Today, I texted my friend asking if he'd like to join my "porno group". I meant promo. I quickly texted back correcting the mistake, but not before I received the nudes he sent. FML

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Today, my girlfriend revealed she'd had an abortion. I wasn’t even aware she’d been pregnant, and she admitted it’s because my grandad and two of my siblings have autism, and she didn’t want to risk having an autistic child and dealing with the shame. FML

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