Hashtag health goals - FML

Hashtag health goals

By Not that old!! - 26/01/2026 00:00

Today, I’m a retiree who recently joined a gym for the first time. The trainer asked me what my goals were. I said, honestly, “To not fall over.” He nodded and wrote it down. Later I saw my workout plan titled: ANTI-FALL PROTOCOL. Other gym members now ask me how my falling is going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42

You deserved it 14

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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First impressions

By Anonymous - 01/12/2024 15:00 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I joined a gym. I’m overweight and not very athletic, so I was nervous. I looked around and tried a treadmill. I start walking at a chill pace, then got ambitious and cranked it to a "light jog." Within seconds, I tripped, fell, and sent the emergency stop button flying across the room. The gym staff ran over and I swear someone said, “Well, at least he’s trying.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 504

You deserved it 133

The shape of you

By KLO65 - 17/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, I told my gym trainer I’d do anything to get in shape. He challenged me to run a mile without stopping. I agreed, then got winded halfway through and dramatically collapsed on the track. A 70 year-oldish woman jogged past me and said, “You’ll live.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 152

You deserved it 442

Namaste

By Anonymous - 10/06/2024 09:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I tried a new workout at my local gym. I thought I'd attempt some yoga poses I'd seen online. Mid-pose, I lost my balance and knocked over a row of weights, causing a loud crash and drawing everyone's attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 346

Clapped out

By Insulted - 12/10/2025 20:00

Today, I was at the gym when a trainer said, “Wow, good for you! I love seeing older people stay active.” I’m 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 422

You deserved it 80

Cool

By Anonymous - 21/11/2025 03:00

Today, at the gym, I was trying to look cool doing pull-ups in front of someone I liked. On my first pull-up, my hand slipped, and I fell backwards onto a yoga ball, which shot me straight into another guy doing push-ups. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 360

Routine

By notsosexygirl - 21/02/2009 09:35 - United Kingdom

Today, I was doing my usual routine at the gym which consists of working out on the treadmills right in front of my ex boyfriend to make him feel bad. Whilst doing this, I tried to be cool and do that thing where as the treadmill slows down you turn around and just walk off the end. I fell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 083

You deserved it 68 666

Resolutions come and go

By Anonymous - 06/01/2026 12:00

Today, I tried a new workout class as part of my New Year's resolution to get fit. The instructor said, “Don’t worry, we’ll start easy.” Twenty minutes in, I was flat on the floor while everyone else continued effortlessly. When the instructor asked if I was OK, I gave a thumbs-up, but I haven’t been able to sit down since. FML

I agree, your life sucks 311

You deserved it 108

Fitness is overrated

By Frankie says relax - 10/12/2023 06:00 - United States

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in months. As I was on the treadmill, I accidentally hit the emergency stop button. In my attempt to play it cool, I tried to pretend it was intentional and yelled, "I've reached my fitness goal for the day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 122

You deserved it 711

I'm fine, this is fine

By Anonymous - 28/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I was at the gym, feeling pretty proud of myself for working out consistently for the past month. As I was about to grab a towel, I tripped and landed face-first into a pile of gym mats. People turned to look, and all I could do was try to laugh it off through the pain of what turned out to be a sprained ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 104

Lost

By Anonymous - 06/06/2025 20:00 - Canada

Today, I walked into the gym in my new workout outfit and headed straight for the weight machines. After 10 minutes, a staff member tapped me on the shoulder and said, “Sir, this is a physical therapy clinic.” The gym was next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 160

You deserved it 454

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The Top

The Top

Today, while at work, a woman left her credit card at my register. I tried to return it before she left. Seeing her getting into her car, I jogged after her and yelled, "Wait." She ran over my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 873

You deserved it 3 068

Today, I saw my doc about the painful swelling I've had in my arm all week. He seemed totally out of it, and ended up telling me it's all in my head, despite the swelling. When I respectfully suggested it might be a blood issue, he just said, "Nah". FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 409

You deserved it 2 446

Today, I fractured a bone in my knee. Now not only do I have to wear a huge knee brace for the next two months, I'll have to sit around in a hotel room all of next week while my family has fun skiing in the mountains. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 312

You deserved it 2 663

Today, I went for an interview regarding a seasonal position I'd been offered at a grocery store. The manager showed up 45 minutes past the scheduled interview time, cheerfully greeted me, and took me back to his office, just to tell me that they don't hire seasonal help. Ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 931

You deserved it 3 772

Today, I was walking my dog when I tripped on the leash, dropping his treat bag. He snatched one, looked at me, and ran full speed in the opposite direction. I had to chase him for three blocks, yelling his name. He thought it was a new game. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 154

Today, I was the victim of a drive-by pissing by some drunken loon on a segway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 750

You deserved it 2 855