Food, Addiction Health Gotta have it

Gotta have it

kp. - - Australia

Today, I found ants all over my chocolate, but I'm so addicted that I just wiped them off and ate it anyway. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Funyearahead - 08/08/2016 12:44 - United States - Red Bank

Today, I found out that my new roommate likes to put candy on the floor, let ants crawl all over it, and eats it. Ants and all. FML

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YeahItsmecoolhuh - 17/02/2011 06:50 - United Arab Emirates

Today, I found a horde of ants in one of my socks when I put it on my foot. FML

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dannij08 - 14/01/2009 01:05 - United States

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

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Another resolution bites the dust

Anonymous - 30/09/2024 00:00 - Germany - Seevetal

Today, I was extremely tired, so when I decided I wanted a snack, I went to the corner of the kitchen where the chocolate is, opened the garbage bin, and reached inside. FML

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mary - 21/02/2012 15:33 - Australia

Today, I managed to cut myself on a piece of chocolate. FML

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ChocoMilkManG - 03/07/2009 01:37 - United States

Today, I found some Nesquick Chocolate Milk mix in my pantry which sounded good. While making a glass, I got angry because not all of the mix would disolve. Frustrated, I downed the drink. When I finished I looked in the glass and realized the mix that wouldn't disolve was actually tiny ants. FML

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Sneaky

Anonymous - 07/10/2019 14:00

Today, after losing a battle with ants in my apartment, I just pulled one off that was biting me in the vagina. FML

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foreveralone - 13/01/2014 01:00 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I went to the doctor, only to find out I can no longer eat chocolate, my favorite food. When I got home, my boyfriend took the chocolate cake I'd been eating from the fridge, sat down in front of me, and ate the whole thing without breaking eye contact. FML

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Chip on your shoulder

Anonymous - 28/08/2021 13:59 - United States

Today, I woke up at 2 a.m. and ate some chips that were on my nightstand, totally unaware that they were covered in ants. Now I have two swollen lips and my kid’s birthday party is tomorrow. FML

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Heyme - 09/12/2008 13:50 - France

Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML

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Freeze_fml 16

Monday 17 October 2011 8:25

That's disgusting and you should feel disgusting.

captainfalcon7 0

Monday 17 October 2011 8:27

I'm sorry this is just sad

wendyxx123 0

Monday 17 October 2011 23:35

That is really disgusting

angryyute 4

Monday 17 October 2011 23:55

NASTY BITCH!!!

Llama_Face89 33

Tuesday 18 October 2011 0:14

How is this FML worthy? You made a conscious decision to eat the chocolate. Why not just toss it and grab another?

pao0720 7

Tuesday 18 October 2011 0:16

You should see a psychiatrist, thats not healthy....

afulks78 11

Tuesday 18 October 2011 0:17

YDI fatty.

GoldenMantis 4

Tuesday 18 October 2011 0:33

Bon Appetite.

emmafindlay 0

Tuesday 18 October 2011 1:33

Fat ass

Nyrus13 4

Tuesday 18 October 2011 1:38

Fat ass

rubyliu8420 7

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:41

u r really sick & need serious help.

yswt 12

Tuesday 18 October 2011 3:42

OMG this is so disgusting.

Miscellaneous Stalker My ex Coworkers Love Internet Relatable AITA Awkward Pokémon Work Parenting Kids Annoying Shopping Underwear Jealousy Parents Thief Sex Intimacy Suspicious Family NSFW Birthday Gifts I need your advice Accident Abuse Moving home

Today, I went to a restaurant with my family. My five year old goes under the table and says "Mommy! You forgot to wear underwear!" FML

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Today, I was calling my cable company to tell me how to fix my internet. I stayed on hold for almost half an hour, and then when someone finally picked up, my phone died. FML

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Today, my mom admitted to me that, when I was a baby, my grandmother kidnapped me and took me to the priest to perform an exorcism, because she swore I was the "spawn of Satan." FML

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Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML

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Today, after almost 2 months of working from home alone, I was out walking and heard 2 guys talking. One was sitting in his car smoking weed; the other was standing next to the car telling him how he was tested positive today. Maybe not mention you are Covid positive when you're not supposed to be in public at all. FML

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Today, I told a cashier at a store, “You have such kind eyes.” She smiled, then pointed to the bagging station and said, “Those are my husband’s eyes, he’s right there.” I spent the next minute bagging my groceries in dead silence. FML

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