Intimacy Get in there!

Get in there!

Menareidiots - 24/02/2009 23:32 - United States

Today, my guy friend and I were in his dorm room watching a movie when he started kissing me. Things heated up so we moved things over to his bed. He was on me when a hand shoots down from his top bunk. His roommate had been up there the whole time and he wanted a high-five. So they high-fived. FML

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The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. …

Wham bam thank you ma'am

Noname - 11/03/2009 07:37 - United States

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

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Self-sabotage

Anonymous - 15/11/2016 09:20

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML

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Second base?

armtits and big pits - 05/04/2014 07:14 - United States - Cape Coral

Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML

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The moment when…

wastedlove - 23/06/2009 15:14 - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy who I like very much. As he went to leave, I decided to give him one last thrill. I reached down his pants and started to rub and stroke him. He abruptly pulled my hand out. When I asked why, he pointed behind me. My mom had watched the whole thing. FML

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someoneelsessaliva - 05/06/2010 06:59 - Australia

Today, my two friends and I went to the movies. One of my friends brought my crush. They started making out, leaning over the armrest, until they were practically in my lap. Saliva got on my arm. FML

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What a jerk!

traumatized house keeper - 08/09/2017 13:00 - Germany - Munster

Today, while cleaning the hostel, I had to make some beds in a dorm room. There were three guys in the room, one of whom was sitting on a bed. He looked me straight in the eye and I gave him a big smile before I realized he was jerking off. FML

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Freak out

Anonymous - 02/01/2013 19:02 - Canada - Belle River

Today, at a house party, I finally got the guy I've been seeing alone in his room. We started making out, and I got on top of him to take control. He responded by saying he couldn't do it because he needed to go make pizza for his friends, and then bolted out of the room. FML

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Jack - 26/10/2009 06:32 - United States

Today, I was in minding my own business in bed in my dorm room. It was dark and my roommate came over, intending to slap my ass really hard. The problem is, I was lying face up. FML

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Classic lineup

Phoellie - 28/08/2009 11:43 - United Kingdom

Today, as I arrived at my house after a two week holiday, I opened the door and heard footsteps upstairs. I went up and found my boyfriend naked in bed. We had great sex. Afterwards I found my best friend naked in the wardrobe. Turns out they'd also had great sex. FML

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Stuck on you

Eeeek - 26/08/2010 21:17 - Bulgaria

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex in a rarely used room at school. We got carried away and found ourselves locked in. We slept there overnight. We woke up when the cleaning lady found us the next morning and were greeted by worried parents and school staff. FML

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PureGold 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 1:56

"So they high-fived." HAHA. Wow, guys are so clueless.

bobdole 0

Wednesday 25 February 2009 2:02

he's my hero

justjayit 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 21:22

That is ******* hilarious, but what a damn mood killer. Guys.

DrOoo 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 5:58

There should be a HE deserved this option for hte poll hahahaha.

leskyyx407 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 13:07

omg<3

91Caleb 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:49

FML!? your nuts this guy clearly is awesome sounds like typical barney stinson if anyone know who that is

91Caleb 0

Monday 9 March 2009 2:52

which apparently 66 and 67 do. I'm sure barney would prefer 69 though

m0nicam0nster 0

Monday 9 March 2009 5:11

HAHAHAHAHAHA so funny i can picture some dudes I know doing this. but thats why I wouldnt hook up with them LOL :P

eeemz 0

Monday 9 March 2009 12:29

typical :)

TheBadIdea 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 18:18

OMG EPIC. thing is, if that happened with me id probably high five my room mate aswell, whether im on the top bunk or on the bottom one. then again, girls say i can be a retard at times :P Still, funny as hell