Fruit and veg

dan - 25/06/2013 04:22 - United States - Phoenix

Today, after going out to dinner with my girlfriend, we went back to my place and things started getting hot. I went in the bathroom and put on a green condom. She wouldn't have sex with me because it looked "like a cucumber" and "cucumbers are nasty." FML
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perdix 29

Yeah, cucumbers suck!! They are only useful if you dunk them in a salty, acid solution or slice them finely to put over swollen eyelids. Is that what you want for your dick? You should always go with yellow condoms -- they drive the ladies . . . *lowers sunglasses* bananas.

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dinosxxrawr 22

she needs to eat her vegetables.

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WhiteCrimson 23

Wow, you get green condoms? Ive heard of glow in the dark and flavored but not green.

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waschaffer 5

Well hey, cucumbers aren't small, so there's that at least

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SweetasCandy0609 28

I would turn that into a positive OP, she said it looked like a cucumber which means she thinks that your penis is huge like a cucumber.

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minidrone_fml 11

Everybody (except your girlfriend) knows that cucumbers are very healthy.

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worldclassrager 39

I think colors are not the best kind to buy for now...but they do spice things up a bit...maybe you can find one that she will like...

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cynical4life 4

Don't let her lie.. I'm sure she's seen plenty of em close up.

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Taengoo 1

Is your girlfriend's name Jessica Jung, by any chance? :P

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davek 36

The lady doth protest too much.

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